Mình góp ý nhé.
1. Về cấu trúc câu: Bạn biết cách sử dụng các từ nối, cấu trúc câu phức tạp.
2. Về chính tả: Bạn mắc rất nhiều lỗi như:
- 'public heath better' -> public heathy better
- 'are neede' --> are needed
- 'It can be dined that ...' -> It can be denied that if
- 'poblic health' -> public health
- 'Nowaday, the sport facilitied are too expensive with an individual with low income.'
->Nowadays, the sports facilities are too expensive for an individual with low income.
- 'Beside, there are a lot of problems which effect on public health, for instance: poluted enviroment, life style,... so spending money on improving enviroment, life style can bring more impact on public health.'
-> Besides, there are a lot of problems which effect on public health, for instance: polluted environment, lifestyle,... so spending money on improving the environment, lifestyle can bring more impact on public health. (Câu này quá dài, bạn nên tách thành hai câu)