Bar chart - The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990. [closed]

Question

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialized countries in 1980 and 1990.

The charts compare the amount of time spent on education and the development of science between developing and developed nations within a decade (1980 - 1990).

Overall, the wealthy countries had a higher number of years for schooling than the developing ones did over the period given. Therefore, the industrialized nations had a higher population of scientists and technicians than the industrializing ones did. Besides, the wealthy nations also expended more on scientific research than the developing ones from 1980 to 1990.

Firstly, with regard to the average years of schooling, students in the industrialized countries spent more time on learning at school than those living in developing countries, increasing from approximately 8 to 10 years. However, the figure for developing countries rose from more than 2 to nearly 4 years.

Secondly, in terms of the development of science, the proportion of scientists and technicians in rich countries was higher than that of poor countries, with 41 and 70 per 1000 people in 1980 and 1990, respectively. Nevertheless, although the developing nations saw an increase in the number of scientists from 1980 to 1990, the figure for it was not higher than 20 per 1000 people. In addition, the industrialized countries invested more on scientific research over the period shown, rising to 350 billion dollars by 1990. However, the figure for developing nations fell from around 50 to 10 billion dollars.

Answer 1

The charts compare the amount of time spent on (không bao quát hết nghĩa) the level of involving in educational field and scientific reserch in developing nations and developed nations in 1980 and 1990 education and the development of science (bạn cố gắng paraphase) between developing and developed nations within a decade ( số liệu so sánh trong 2 năm cụ thể, không phải suốt 1 thập kỷ) (1980 - 1990).  

Overall, the wealthy countries had a higher number of years for schooling than the developing ones did (ngữ pháp) over the period given (không cần thiết).Therefore, the industrialized nations had a higher population of scientists and technicians than the industrializing industrialized nations ones did. Besides, the wealthy nations also expended more money (expended sth in/on) on scientific research than the developing nations  ones from 1980 to 1990.

Firstly, with regard to the average years of schooling, people students (không bao quát) in the industrialized countries people spent more time on learning at school than people in developing countries those living in developing countries, increasing increased from approximately 8 to 10 years. However, the figure for developing countries rose from more than 2 to nearly 4 years.

Secondly, in terms of the development of science, the proportion of scientists and technicians in rich countries was higher than that of poor (poor # developing) developing countries, with 41 and 70 per 1000 people in 1980 and 1990, respectively. Nevertheless, although (chỉ dùng 1 từ) the developing nations saw an increase in the number of scientists from 1980 to 1990, the figure for it was not higher than 20 per 1000 people. In addition, the industrialized countries invested more on scientific research over the period shown, rose rising to 350 billion dollars by 1990. However (Sát với nội dung câu hơn) By contrast the figure for developing nations fell from around 50 to 10 billion dollars.

1 đoạn viết lại đề bài, bạn nên paraphase nhiều hơn và chú ý cụm từ thay thể phải đầy đủ nghĩa tương tứng.

2 Phần tổng quan, bạn mô ta chưa nỗi bật các xu hướng.

3 2 đoạn thân bài bạn cần sắp xếp logic hơn. ( theo mình sắp xếp ý đoạn 1 là 2 biểu đồ các thông số tăng, đoạn 2 là biểu đồ số 3 có 2 mô hình tăng và giảm)