Task 1, Test 2, Cambridge 13

Question

 

 

The chart illustrates the household amounts of rented and owned accommodation in two countries England and Wales in a period of 1918 to 2011. There are differences in accommodation types after years while renting was overwhelming in 1918 but replaced by owning by 2011.

The percentage of rented accommodation was the major types of household in 1918, which was nearly 80 percent of total, four folds of owned accommodation. However, this number was not remaining for long and decreased to 50 percent same as the owner’s figure in 1971. From this point of time, the number of owning accommodation soared rapidly until it reached the top in 2001 at approximately 70 percent, that was double in comparison with the other. By the end of period in 2011, the gap between two types of accommodation was slightly narrower when the owners declined to 64 percent and the renters climbed to 36 percent.

Answer 1

The chart illustrates the household amounts of rented and owned accommodation in two countries England and Wales in a period of[WU1]  1918 to 2011. There are differences in accommodation types[WU2]  after years while renting was overwhelming in 1918 but replaced by owning by 2011. [WU3] [WU4]

 

The percentage of rented accommodation was the major types of household in 1918, which was nearly 80 percent of total, four folds of owned accommodation[WU5] . However, this number was not remaining for long[WU6]  and decreased to 50 percent same as the owner’s figure [WU7] in 1971. From this point of time, the number of owning accommodation soared rapidly until it reached the top in 2001 at approximately 70 percent, that was double in comparison with the other. By the end of period in 2011, the gap between two types of accommodation was slightly narrower when the owners declined to 64 percent and the renters climbed to 36 percent.

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 [WU1]From

 [WU2]You don’t need this phrase because it is obvious to all kinds of charts in writing task 1

 [WU3]The overview is still vague and did not point out the main trend of the chart

 [WU4]à “Overall, owning and renting showed opposite trends with a sharp increase in ownership and a reciprocal decline in the percentage of renters. By the end of the period, overall ownership had overtaken renting by a wide margin.”

 [WU5]fourfold as compared to owned accommodation

 [WU6]Wrong tense à “did not remain the dominant type of housing until it decreased”

 [WU7]to 50 percent, which was the same as the owner’s figure

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CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Achievement	5	• addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others • presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive • presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
Coherence and Cohesion	5	• arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression • uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical • may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately • uses paragraphing, but not always logically
Lexical Resource	6	• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task • attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy • makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	5	• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms • makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication
Overall	5.5