The average number of Vietnamese students in 3 countries (2000-2015)

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The line chart provides the information about the average quantity of students from Vietnam learning in 3 different nations from 2000 to 2015.

Overall, the majority of the countries underwent an upward trend in their student numbers, while solely Russia had its number of Vietnamese learners go downward over the period.

In the year 2000, there were 3 million Vietnamese learners in France, which is the highest number among the three countries. Russia and America’s values were respectively 3 and 1.5 million. Over the next 5 years, there was a decrease by nearly 1 million in both France and Russia’s quantities, while America’s rose by 0.5 million.

From 2005 onwards, the quantity of Vietnamese learners in France dramatically rose and reached 5 million learners at the end of the period, regarded as the most signifcant value at that time. The value of France remained stable from 2005 to 2016 before growing to 4.5 million in 2015, being higher than Russia’s by 2 million units.

(164 words)

Thanks for reading and correcting me. <3

Answer 1

Hello bài của Lonelyboyscc202 mình vừa gửi team Ielts Planet khoảng hai ngày là có bài sửa theo brand điểm IELTS, chờ nhá :)

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cảm ơn bạn nhiều nha <3

Answer 2

Lonelyboyscc202 Mình mới sửa xem qua nhé :3

The line chart provides the information about the average => regular quantity of students from Vietnam learning learned or studied ( cụm từ trước là chủ từ thì sau đó là động từ chia ở thì quá khứ) in 3 different nations from (repeat word) betweent 2000 to and 2015.

Overall, the majority of the countries underwent an upward trend in their student numbers, while solely Russia had its number of Vietnamese learners go => went downward over the period.( Biểu đồ Russia đi xuống trong 10 năm đầu, 5 năm cuối có tăng nhẹ, nên mô tã câu này của bạn không đúng rồi.)

It is clear that the number of Vietnamese students rose sharply in America, while the figures for France and Russia fluctuated considerably in over the period.

In the year 2000, there were 3 million Vietnamese learners in France, which is => was the highest number among the three countries. Russia and America’s values => The figures for Russia and America were respectively 3 and 1.5 million => millions. Over the next 5 years, there was => (repeat) It saw a decrease by nearly 1 million in both France and Russia’s quantities=> with nearly 1 million, while America’s => the figure for America rose by 0.5 million.

From 2005 onwards, the quantity of Vietnamese learners in France dramatically rose and reached => (rose nội động từ, reach là ngoại động từ đi cùng với nhau dẩn đến câu sai ngữ pháp)  5 million => add S learners at the end of the period, regarded as the most signifcant value at that time. The value ( không được dùng để thể hiện các đại lượng đã nhắc đến trước) of France remained stable from 2005 to 2016 before growing to 4.5 million in 2015, being higher than Russia’s by 2 million units.

 

Comments

Cái sai đầu tiên mà bạn chấm có thể là mệnh đề quan hệ rút gọn thì phải.

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Hi Van Anh, mình mới xem lại, câu đầu tiên nếu xem là mệnh đề quan hệ rút gọn thì nó vẩn đúng. Bạn thử xem tiếp các đoạn chửa bài dưới xem có góp ý gì giúp chủ thớt nữa ko hi.

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cảm ơn bạn nhiều lắm hihi <3

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Oài bên Ielts Planet tài khoàn mình gửi bài đến giờ chưa nhận được kết quả nữu, chắc tài khoản có vấn đề quá. Bạn thử viết lại bài này lần nữa đê ^^