The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030
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The line graph gives information about how many UK residences uses three different vehicles on average per day over a 60-year period beginning in 1970.
Overall, the figure for cars and trains both went up while fewer peoples use buses from 1970 to 2030. The total number of vehicles commuting each day increase over the period, which can also be observed clearly.
In 1970, the figure for cars and buses stood at around 4 and over 5 million respectively, which is higher than the number of people who opted for trains, at only 2. During the next 30 years the number of cars and train travellers both increased, with about  7 million car users and 3 million train commuters. During the same period, the number of people who chose buses as their means of transport decreased gradually by about half a million commuters.
Throughout the remainder of the time surveyed, the number of car and train users is expected to continue to witness a considerable increase both by about 2 million people. In contrary, fewer and fewer travellers is expexted to use buses between 2000 and 2030. The figure for those dropped to just under 3 million in the year 2030.
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The line graph gives information about how many UK residences residents/inhabitants (residence là danh từ nói về sự cư trú, không phải chỉ người) uses three different vehicles on average per day over a 60-year period, beginning in 1970.
Overall, the figures for cars and trains both went up steadily, while fewer peoples used buses from 1970 to 2030 (....,while the number of commuters travelled by bus decreased modarately over the period shown). The total number of vehicles commuting each day increase over the period, which can also be observed clearly. 
In 1970, the figures for cars and buses stood at around 4 and over 5 millions respectively, which is higher than the number of people who opted for trains, at only 2 millions. During the next 30 years, the number of cars and train travellers both increased, with about  7 million car users and 3 million train commuters. During the same period, the number of people who chose buses as their means of transport decreased gradually by about half a million commuters.
Throughout the remainder of the time surveyed, Looking into the future, the number (the quantity, tránh lặp từ) of car and train users is expected to continue (contsantly) to witness a ( cả hai cars and train) considerable increases both by to about 2 million people. In contrary, fewer and fewer travellers is expexted to use buses between 2000 and 2030. The figure for those (chủ ngữ ở đây là gì: buses, nên nói rõ: those buses)? dropped to just under 3 millions in the year 2030. ( at the end of the period)

 

Bài bạn viết khá tốt, đáp ứng đủ số lượng chữ, cấu trúc 4 phần rõ ràng. Tuy nhiên, một số câu còn sai ngữ pháp (số it, số nhiều). Bên cạnh đó, còn tồn tại một số lỗi nhỏ cần tránh mà mình đã note lại ở trên. Chúc bạn thành công công việc chinh phục IELTS.

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nhìn chung, tớ thấy bài bạn khá ổn. Bên cạnh đó, bạn cần nên để ý lại lỗi ngữ pháp nhé. ví dụ như 

"the figures" 

"fewer peoples used"

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