Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?
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Many people, especially children prefer using computer and spend most of their time on computer.While I accept that this will have positive effects on the users, I believe that they are more likely to have more harmful impacts.
 

On the one hand, it is  a wonderful tool used for recreational purposes. There are multimillion interesting and useful websites and videos, which people can watch and entertain after exhausting hard-working hours. In this case, it is also a good way for them to access to the updated information.Secondly, computer is beneficial in all areas of education because it helps students to perform better at school and complete researches. For example, when students have homework and some projects to work on, they can make a good use of various online resources to finish their tasks on time.Finally,computer is considered useful means an of communication,many social networking sites such as facebook or twitter allow people to make friend with people all around the world and express their feelings.
 

However, I would argue that these drawbacks are outweighed the benefits. People often have tendency of easily addicted to the computers.  As a result, this may lead to their distraction from from working and studying.For example, playing games on the computers can be highly addictive because gamers are given scores, new challenges and targets, which keeps them playing without bothering their work and studies.In addition, if a person spends excessive amount of time in computer, it will develop selentary lifestyle, which is the results of many diseases. A recent study have shown that about 80% of  teenagers sticking their eyes on computer screen are more likely to face higher risk of obesity than normal person

 

In conclusion, although the computer play an vital part in our life, it still has some negative impacts in some cases.It is advisable that people should restrict their time of using the computer to avoid bad consequences.
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3 Answers

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1 vote

Xin mạn phép góp ý với bạn 1 số chỗ mà mình cũng chả biết có đúng ko nữa blush < Ý kiến cá nhân thôi nhé !>

- Thêm "ing" vào sau spend < children prefer using computer and spending>

- Thay after exhausting hard-working hours bằng after stressful hours

computer is considered useful means an of communication. Mình thấy câu này kì kì blush

make friend with people -> make friends with other people

smiley

 

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8 points
2 votes
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Chào bạn :D.

Nhìn chung thì cấu trúc bài rõ ràng, nội dung tốt. Tuy vậy thì bài viết có vài chỗ diễn đạt & ngữ pháp lủng củng giống như là câu này 'people can watch and entertain after exhausting hard-working hours'. Ngoài ra đề bài nói rõ là ảnh hưởng của máy tính tới trẻ em. Trong bài bạn nhắc đến 'people' chung chung mà không dùng những từ như là 'children', 'teenagers', 'young kids' etc để bài thẳng trực tiếp vào đề. Bài của bạn mình chữa dưới này nhé!

Many people, especially children, prefer computer to other forms of technology.Although computer has positive effects on the users, it is more likely to have more harmful lasting impacts.

On the one hand, computer is  a wonderful tool for recreational purposes. There are multimillion interesting and useful websites and videos, which people can watch and entertain themselves after long working hours. Computer also provides a good way for them to access up-to-date information.In addition, computer is beneficial in improving students' performance at school. For example,students can use online resources to do their homework or complete their assignments. Finally, social networking sites such as facebook or twitter allow people to meet people from all around the world.

Despite its positive influence on modern society, I would argue that computer's drawbacks outweigh its benefits. People are easily addicted to it.  As a result, they are distracted from working and studying.For example, playing games on the computers can be highly addictive because gamers are given scores, new challenges and targets, which keeps them playing without bothering with their work and study.In addition, when a person spends an excessive amount of time sitting in front of a computer, he will develop selentary lifestyle that causes illness. A recent study has shown that about 80% of  teenagers sticking their eyes (too coloquial and comical :D) on computer screen are more likely to face higher risk of obesity than normal person does.

In conclusion, although computer plays a vital part in our life, it still has some negative impacts i.It is advisable that people should restrict their time of using the computer to avoid bad consequences.

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90 points

3 Comments

CHO MÌNH HỎI với đề này viết chỉ 1 quan điểm agree /disagree tức là chỉ positive effects(hoặc ngược lại) có đc k,liệu có hay hơn viết cả 2 k
Được quá chứ bạn
Trong sách dạy IELTS thì thông thường sẽ dạy là bạn nên chọn đứng về 1 phía nhưng cũng nên nhắc đến khía cạnh bên kia (nôm na là thể hiện ra bạn nhìn nhận 1 vấn đề từ cả 2 phía) để thể hiện 'critical thinking'. Cấu trúc bài viết thế này là ổn rồi bạn
1 vote
1 vote

Hi đây là góp ý của mình. Ideas của bạn tốt, diễn đạt smooth, vocab dùng hợp lí tuy nhiên chưa dùng nhiều synonyms. Có 1 điều quan trọng là, trong bài opinion bạn nên nêu rõ i (dis)agree 100% hay là partly agree để tránh bị thấy giống như làm discussion :D cheers

 

Many people, especially children prefer using computers and spending most of their time on these devices.While I accept that this has some positive effects on (bỏ the) users, I believe that they are (bỏ more) likely to have far more harmful impacts.
 

On the one hand, they are wonderful ( dùng từ wonderful ở đây cứ kiểu gì) tools used for recreational purposes. There are multimillion interesting and useful stuff inlcuding websites and videos, which can entertain people after exhausting hard-working hours. In this case, it is also a good way for them to access to the most updated information.Secondly, computers are beneficial in almost all areas of education because they can help students to perform better at school and complete researches. For example, when students have homework and some projects to work on, they can make a good use of various online resources to finish their tasks on time (ví dụ là để thêm chi tiết hơn, mà câu ví dụ của bạn với câu supporting trước cũng có chức năng như nhau).Finally,computers are considered to be useful ( lặp từ useful, có thể thay bằng commendable) means of communication. Many social networking sites such as facebook or twitter allow people to make friend who come from all around the world and express their feelings.
 

However, I would argue that these drawbacks ( dùng chủ động) outweigh the benefits. People often have tendency of being easily addicted to the computers.  As a result, this may lead to their distraction from from working and studying.For example, playing games on the computers can be highly addictive because games players are given scores, new challenges and targets, which keeps them playing without bothering their work and studies.In addition, if a person spends excessive amount of time on computers, it will develop sedentary ( good vocabulary :D) lifestyle, which are the results of many diseases such as obesity and hypertension. A recent study has shown that about 80% of  teenagers sticking their eyes on computers screen are more likely to face the higher risk of obesity than those who do not. ( face the risk cũng hay cơ mà mình có 1 cụm hay hơn: run the risk of.. :D)

 

In conclusion, although bỏ the computers play an vital part in our life, they still have some negative impacts .It is advisable that people should restrict their time of using computers to avoid bad consequences.

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