The 3 pie charts show the total school spending in all three years (1981, 1991 and 2001) in the UK.

Question

The pie charts illustrate how much a UK school spent on 5 different categories in 3 years: 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Overall, teachers' salaries made up the highest proportion, while the least percentage of annual spending belonged to insurance in given years.

As can be seen from the charts, the greatest expenditure was on salaries. However, whereas other workers' salaries witnessed a quick fall from 28% in 1981 to 15% in 2001, teachers' salaries remained the highest percentage over the period, rising to half of the total expense in 1991 before dropping back by 5% in 2001.

The budget spent on furniture and equipment saw a wild fluctuation throughout the years. There was a fall to only 5% of total spending in 1991, which was followed by an increase to nearly 25% in 2001. In contrast, the share of resources like books saw an opposite trend. The cost increased moderately to 20% in 1991, but 10 years later declined sharply to only 9%. only a small proportion of money spent on insurance with 2%, 3% and 8% in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.

Answer 1

The pie charts illustrate how much a UK school spent [NN1] on 5 different categories in 3 years: 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Overall, teachers' salaries made up the highest proportion, while the least percentage of annual spending belonged to insurance [NN2] in given years.

As can be seen from the charts, the greatest expenditure [NN3] was on salaries. However, whereas other workers' salaries witnessed a quick fall from 28% in 1981 to 15% in 2001, teachers' salaries remained the highest percentage over the period, rising to half of [NN4] the total expense in 1991 before dropping back by 5% in 2001.

The budget spent on furniture and equipment saw a wild fluctuation throughout the years. There was a fall to only 5% of total spending in 1991, which was followed by an increase to nearly 25% in 2001. In contrast, the share [NN5] of resources like books saw an opposite trend. The cost [NN6] increased moderately to 20% in 1991, but 10 years later declined sharply to only 9%. [NN7] only[NN8]  a small proportion of money spent on insurance with 2%, 3% and 8% in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.

                                                                                                                                                                                   183 words

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 [NN1]Inappropriate vocabulary: because the unit is percent => you cannot use the word “ how much”

=> illustrate the percentage of expendciture in a UK school on 5 different….

 [NN2]Inappropriate vocabulary: was on insurance

 [NN3]Inappropriate vocabulary: the highest proportion of spending was on…

 [NN4]Lack of article: a half

 [NN5]Inappropriate vocabulary: the spending/ expenditure

Suggestion: you can change the structures to avoid repeating

=> Money spent on books accounted for ….% of the total spending

Or

The school spent/ allocated (for) …% of the total expenditure on

 [NN6]Inappropriate vocabulary: The figure

 [NN7]Grammar error: but declined sharply … 10 years later

 [NN8]Idea suggestion: Finally, only….

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CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Achivement	6.0	• addresses the requirements of the task • presents an overview with information appropriately selected • presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate
Coherence and Cohension	6.0	• arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression • uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical • may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
Lexical Resource	6.0	• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task • attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy • makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	6.0	• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms • makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication
Overall	6.0	Overall, your report is OK, try to eliminate some minor grammar mistakes, see my comments above and consistently practice writing. You have great potential, be more careful next time.