#HELPMEPLEASE - IELTS WRITING TASK 1-TABLE

Question

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

The given table illustrates the percentage of six Australian family types living in poverty in 1999.

Looking at the table, it is obvious that while the percentage of aged couples living in poverty was the lowest, sole parents registered the highest one.

It can be seen that the percentage of poor sole parents in 1999 was quite high, which was 21% (232,000). In contrast, the  percentage of aged couples of poverty was just 4%, marking the gap of 17% between these two family types. Poor households in Australia in 1999 made up over 10%, quite similar to couples with children whose figure for was closest to the figure of all households.

Single people without children ranked second in the top poorest households in Australia (19%), whereas the percentage of aged individuals living in poverty was 6%. Besides, there was a small disparity of 5% between the proportion of couples with no children and  couples with kids being classed as poor, which were 7% (211,000) and 12% (922,000), respectively.

Answer 1

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/1569404415-HELPMEPLEASE-IELTS-WRITING-TASK-1-TABLE.docx

The given table illustrates the percentage of six Australian family types living in poverty in 1999.[1]

Looking at the table, it is obvious that while the percentage of aged couples living in poverty was the lowest, sole parents registered the highest one.

It can be seen that the percentage of poor sole parents in 1999 was quite high, which was 21% (232,000). [DN2] In contrast, the  percentage of aged couples of poverty was just 4%, marking the gap of 17% between these two family types. Poor households families in Australia in 1999 made up over 10%, quite similar to couples with children whose figure for was closest to the figure of all households.[3]

Single people without children ranked second in the top poorest households in Australia (19%), whereas the percentage of aged individuals living in poverty was 6%. Besides, there was a small disparity of 5% between the proportion of couples with no children and  couples with kids being classed as poor, which were 7% (211,000) and 12% (922,000), respectively.

---

 [DN1]The given table compares the rate of poverty among six types of household in Australia in 1999.

 [DN2]Suggestion: It’s not necessary to mention both the percentage and the number for this type of essay

 [DN3]Suggestion: Figure cho all household nên được nhắc tới ở một câu riêng vì đó là thông tin tổng quát quan trọng (trên đề bài cũng được tô đậm)

---

CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Achievement	7	covers the requirements of the task presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or stages clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully extended
Coherence and Cohesion	7	logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
Lexical Resource	6	uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	6	uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication
Overall	6.5	Good paraphrasing but there are significant grammar mistake

---