Map (Cam 13 Test 1)

Question

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The two maps illustrates how road access to the City Hospital changed from 2007 to 2010.

In general, there were three noticeable changes which were the bus stops, roundabouts, and car facilities.

Turning into the details, in 2007, three bus stops were constructed on either side of the Hospital Road. After three years, they were removed and replaced  by the bigger one located in the west of the Hospital Roadd. Furthermore, two new roundabouts were erected in 2010. While the first roundabout was situated at the intersection of Ring Road and Hospital Road, the rest was at the other end of Hospital Road.

The two maps also shows the change in car park in this area, In 2007, there was a parking lot for both staff and public on the east side of the Hospital Road. Having said that, three years later, the original car park became the parking facility for the staff only. The public car park, in contrast,  was placed in the east, next to the City Hospital.

Answer 1

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-1_-Road-access-1.docx

The two maps illustrates[W1]  how road access to the City Hospital changed from 2007 to 2010.

In general, there were three noticeable changes which were the bus stops, roundabouts, and car facilities.

Turning into the details, in 2007, three bus stops were constructed on either side of the Hospital Road. After three years, they were removed and replaced  by the bigger one [W2] located in the west of the Hospital Roadd[W3] . Furthermore, two new roundabouts were erected in 2010. While the first roundabout was situated at the intersection of Ring Road and Hospital Road, the rest was at the other end of Hospital Road.

The two maps also shows the change in car park in this area, In 2007, there was a parking lot for both staff and public[W4]  on the east side of the Hospital Road. Having said that, [W5] three years later, the original car park became the parking facility for the staff only. The public car park, in contrast,  was placed in the east, next to the City Hospital.

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 [W1]Spelling error: Illustrate, there is no S.

 [W2]Grammar error:  It lacks a linking word, => Which/that located.

 [W3]Spelling error: Road.

 [W4]Idea suggestion: For both staff + S, and guesses.

 [W5]Redundant word.

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CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Response	7	• covers the requirements of the task • • (A) presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or stages • • (GT) presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate • clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully extended
Coherence and Cohesion	7	• logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout • uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
Lexical Resource	7	• uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision • uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation • may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	7	• uses a variety of complex structures • produces frequent error-free sentences • has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
Overall	7.0