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Đề mình lấy của thầy Simon ielts.

p/s: Mình tự học ở nhà, cũng mới tập tành viết được 1 2 tháng thôi, mong mọi người chỉ bảo thêm. ^^

How would you write a report about the following charts?

The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households.

Living alone in England by age and gender, 2011

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 14.00.41

Number of bedrooms in one-person households (England, 2011)

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 13.56.38

My report:

The bar chart combined the pie chart, provides an overview of alone status of both men and women in England in 2011. While the bar chart displays the percentage of people living alone, the pie chart gives the information about common numbers of bedrooms in one-households.

Overall, males aged 65 and over made up a lower proportion of people living alone than females in this year. Moreover, the most common number of bedrooms in a one-household in England is two.

According to the bar chart, there was a gradually increase in the percentage of women living alone in age groups over 65 from about 63% in the 65-75 year-old to approximately 75% in the 85 – and over respectively, a rise of about 12 percentage points. In contrast, man in age groups under 65 were more than women. They peaked at 65% in 35-49 year-old and then this proportion fall with age.

As shown in the pie chart, 35,4% of the total is belonged to one-household had 2 bedrooms, the highest figure among them, followed by three-bedrooms homes which accounted for 29,8%. Whereas, there was just below 7% of single-occupant homes had 4 and more bedrooms.

 

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Hy vong moi nguoi gop y cho em ve cach dung tu cung nhu loi ngu phap a. Tks
Do em moi tap viet duoc hon 1 thang nen con mac nhieu loi :)
San tien cho em hoi 1 dieu nua la hien tai tren thi truong sach in hoac ebook co nhung cuon writing nao ok ah?. Em xin cam on. Hien em dang hoc writing o trang thay Simon vs tham khao sach cua Mat Clark
:)
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Mình cũng mới chỉ tập viết writing thôi, nên không đủ trình độ để góp ý cho bạn. Nhưng do yêu cấu của trang web nên mình xin góp ý bạn như sau:

Mình nghĩ ở phần bar chart, những số phần trăm bạn nên ghi là ít hơn hay nhiều hơn (xấp xỉ, khoảng,...) thay vì chỉ ghi 63%. Bởi vì, nhìn trên hình rõ ràng là không biết chính xác là bao nhiêu %.
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"The bar chart combined the pie chart" thành "the bar chart combined with the pie chart", "ovides an overview of alone status of both men and women in England in 2011" thành "gives an overview of the proportion of unmarried men and women in England in the year 2011"

"there was a gradually increase" thành "there was a gradual increase"

"35,4% of the total is belonged to one-household had 2 bedrooms" thành "35,4% of the total belongs to households with 2 bedrooms" (đoan này mình không chắc)

"Whereas, there was just below 7% of single-occupant homes had 4 and more bedrooms." đổi thành "Whereas, just below 7% of single-occupant homes had 4 and more bedrooms."
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