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The pie charts illustrate how many unit of electricity was produced from fuel source in two countries Australia and France during 1980 to 2000.

It is clear that coal was the main source to creat electricity in Australia in both years, whereas in France, the majority of nuclear power was used for making electricity in 2000.

Looking at the diagram in more detail, we can see that in Australia, exactly a half unit of coal used to producing electricity in 1980, it was mostly double natural gas as well as hydro power ( a mere 20 units). However, the figure for coal increased considerably to 130 units in 2000. Only 2 units belonged to the proportion of oild and natural gas.

It can be seen that there was a quarter unit of coal and natural gas used to make electricity in France in the year 1980. Interestingly, in 2000, coal was the same level as in 1980, while, nuclear power rocketed from 15 units in 1980 to 126 units in 2000. The lowest unit of fuel source using produced electricity in Frace was natural gas in 2000 ( 2 units) but it used to be the top in 1980.
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The pie charts illustrate how many unit of electricity was produced from fuel source in two countries Australia and France during 1980 to 2000. bạn nên trích dẫn để để người đọc có thể paraphrase lại

It is clear that coal was the main source to creat electricity in Australia in both years ,  whereas in France, the majority of nuclear power was used for making electricity in 2000. câu overall khá ổn tuy nhiên chỉ nêu điểm chính cao nhất, thấp nhất, đặc điểm nổi bật khoan đưa time vào đã.

Looking at the diagram in more detail, we can see that thừa in Australia, exactly a half unit of coal used to producing electricity in 1980, it was mostly double natural gas as well as hydro power ( a mere 20 units) đơn vị thì không cần đưa số nhiều vào. However, the figure for coal increased considerably to 130 units in 2000. Only 2 units belonged to the proportion of oild and natural gas.

It can be seen những câu này bạn chỉ cần đưa vào phần overall  there was a quarter unit of coal and natural gas used to make bạn xem lại thì ở câu trên là thí quá khứ tiếp diễn tại sao ở dưới lại không có trong khi ghi la in 1980 electricity in France in the year 1980. Interestingly, in 2000, coal was the same level as in 1980, while, nuclear power rocketed from 15 units in 1980 to 126 units in 2000. The lowest unit of fuel source ( using produced) không hiểu lắm electricity in Frace was natural gas in 2000 ( 2 units) but it used to be the top in 1980. Câu cuối này bạn viết quá lộn xộn không xác định dược đau là động từ chính và thì, cấu trúc câu đã có sự thay đổi cho đa dạng tuy nhiên có thê dung một số từ như account for, stood at, compares with,...

Chúc bạn học tốt

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Bạn Tuệ bôi đỏ cho phần bạn sửa và bôi xanh cho phần nhận xét tiếng Việt ấy, bôi cùng 1 màu rất khó nhìn.
ban oi, looking at the diagram in more detail sao lai bo "in more detail" vay.

in the year 1980 minh thay cung dung ma.

Đồng ý về in the year 1980, diễn đạt khác đi một chút để đỡ trùng với in 1980.

Về cụm đầu tiên, bạn Tuệ ghi rõ rồi: thừa. Bạn không nên viết nhiều như thế, chỉ cần: It is clear that rồi miêu tả luôn.

ah, tại mình sợ ko đủ số chữ nên mình mới thêm vào đó mà, ^^. mình học lỏm' từ trên mạng thấy hay nên áp dụng vào
minh co coi lai, cach sua cua ban cung rat hay, minh co bai nay ban sua zum minh voi nha ^^
au dung la khong sao ban ah, nhung hinh nhu k can thiet lam nen minh nghi la lôking at graph la da du de hieu cau nay roi

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