The wealthy of countries a country is not only determined by their its fortune but also by their its diplomatic relation. Some people considered specific statement whether poor countries should received receive the help form from wealthy or they have to take care of peoples by themselves has become a worldwide controversial topic. From my perspective, government of poorer countries had better take advantage of assistance from wealthy countries which it gives lots of profits to both sides.
On the one hand, underdeveloped countries have opportunity to approach new goods and services from wealthy countries. In particular, it has more choice for customers in poorer countries have to choose variety of have various choice of foreign goods such as food or high-tech machines instead of using only nation their own products. Moreover, there are several difference different ways to educate people between the two types of countries, for example, European countries encourage the creation of children??? while poorer countries shape children’ behaviors with identical pattern. Therefore, modern education form from rich nations can be brought bring about international thoughts which help poorer countries realized their weakness in order to creating create suitable policy to reform education and to develop their human manpower and financial resources.
On the other hand, wealthy countries have chance to share their best things such as education or goods. It undeniable that, investing in underdeveloped nations is the best way to expand market and enhance profits for both wealthy and poor nations. Moreover, the difference from culture and custom need to be exchanged and understood clearly to limit insignificant conflict. Plus, the assistance of developed countries with peace aim can be reduced aims to reduce starvation and poverty in the world.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that poorer countries should accept the assistance from wealthy providers which who can brings lots of long-term benefits not only for (underdeveloped nations but also for wealthy countries) both nations.
Mấy chỗ tô vàng là lỗi, còn chữ màu đỏ là gợi ý của mình để sửa lỗi. Theo mình nghĩ, ý phần thân bài hơi bị lan man. Và mình gợi ý là bạn nên chia thân bài ra như thế này, mỗi đoạn nói về 1 lĩnh vực mà 2 bên có thể chia sẻ:
Đoạn 1: exchanging goods
Đoạn 2: exchanging culture and education
Mở bài và Kết bài thì tương đối tốt
Grammar: bạn dễ bị lẫn lộn giữa passive và active, lỗi chia động từ