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TOPIC: Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Playing video games has become more and more popular among people, and the young generation in particular in recent years. While it remains controversial about whether these games are positive or negative, I would personally believe that playing these games would have a harmful impact on the player.

On the one hand, it is believed that playing video games would be advantageous to some ways. One of the advantages of playing video games is that playing these games will help the gamers relax after hard working days and it is these games that can help the players refresh their tiring mind. Furthermore, it is thought that by playing games, people can not only improve their logical thought but also help them have clever skills in solving specific some situations, which is helpful in their daily life.

On the other hand, I would argue that the benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. One of the shortcomings of playing video games is game addiction. The gamers would be easily attracted by the scores or new levels, which would make the players spend too much time playing video games. My younger brother, for example, can sit in front of the screen of the computer for long hours playing games without thinking about eating and drinking. Moreover, if children play games so much, they can be easily affected by the game violence because the gamers seem always to live in an imaginative world and school violence nowadays is a good example for this.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible benefits.

 

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-Task response 5.5: Bạn có luận điểm rõ ràng, nhưng chưa được explain hay cho lắm. Nhiều chỗ bạn nên nới rộng ý ra để làm luận điểm của bạn vững vàng hơn. Ví dụ như câu cuối phần body 1, bạn nên nêu ra thêm daily life là gì -> education/work/creative activities.

-Cohesion 5.5: Bố cục bài rõ ràng, dễ đọc và theo dõi. 

-Grammar 5.5+: Bạn nên chú ý thêm chia từ thành plural/single trong 1 câu. Bạn dùng cấu trúc 'not only...but also' hình như bị sai, đọc câu nó kì lắm. Nhưng nhìn chung ngữ pháp bạn ổn 

-Lexical resources 5.5: nhiều từ sử dụng sai, ví dụ 'logical thought -> logical thinking', 'clever skills in solving specific some situations -> problem-solving skills', 'the scores -> the scoring system', 'the screen of the computer -> computer screen'...nhưng nhìn chung bạn vẩn sử dụng dc khá các từ academic

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