Some people think young people are more influenced by their friends than their parents or teachers. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Question

In modern life, young individuals are not influenced by their parents or teachers but also by their friends.While I accept that adolescent can sometimes be affected by their friends, I strongly believe that families and teachers are more likely to impact on their behaviors, attitudes,...

On the one hand, there is little room for doubt that families are the first teachers for their own adults. More specially, parents who are the first persons teach the youth fundamental social role. They show them how to respect others or how to behave with strangers and their own relatives. Another point to help the convincing level of the statement is that family is the first organization that children and adults begin growing up and learn essential skills such as the way of eating food, the way of responding other needs. It is noticeable that teachers are the second persons whom adolescents contact to in their elementary study; thus educators teach them how to work with their friends.

However, on the other hand, young generation is influenced significantly by friends. Common sense plainly dictates that they spend more time with their best friends and share numerous secret problems and then find solutions. In addition, they made group to study together as well as play sports. For instance, if anyone has high achivement in the group, this will motive the others to try their best for passing exams with flying colours as well. Besides, making bad friends cause children or adults quarrel their families and leave their study or jobs.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the influence of parents and teacher on children and adults overweight the friends' one because family and teacher are the first persons for them in their social and personal lives.

Answer 1

Hi Jenny Đỗ,

I have some following comments for your essay. I think if you pay attention to word choice, spelling and grammar, your essay could be much more perfect!

In modern life, young individuals are not only influenced by their parents or teachers but also by their friends.While I accept that adolescents can sometimes be affected by their friends, I strongly believe that families and teachers are more likely to impact on their behaviors, attitudes,... ( in formal essay we should not use 3 docs)

On the one hand, there is little room for doubt that families parents are the first teachers for their own adults children. More specially, parents who are the first persons teach the youth fundamental social role. They also show them their children how to respect others or how to behave with strangers and their own relatives. Another point to help the convincing level of the statement is that family is the first organization that children and adults begin growing up and learn essential skills such as the way of eating food, the way of responding other needs. It is noticeable that teachers are the second persons people whom adolescents contact to in their elementary study; thus educators teach them how to work with their friends.

However, on the other hand (you should use only one) , young generation is influenced significantly by their friends. Common sense plainly dictates that they spend more time with their best friends and share numerous secret problems and then find solutions. In addition, they made could form group to study as well as play sports together. For instance, if anyone has high achivement in the group, this will motivate the others to try their best for passing exams with flying colours as well. Besides, making playing with bad friends might cause children or adults quarrel their families and leave their study or jobs.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the influence of parents and teacher on children and adults overweight the friends' one because family and teacher are the first persons (people) for them in their social and personal lives.