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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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It cannot be denied that a big number of teenagers prefer to enjoy a variety of attractive video games instead of participating physical activities as they did. Though computer games have its own positive influences, i totally agree with the idea that outdoor activities is far more advantageous.

On the one hand, by taking some realistic activities, children may learn not onlypractical skills but also develop their physical condition through the games effectively. For example, boys who are interested in soccer games will learn how to collaborate with their teams to win their matches. As a result, they seem to be more confident in communicate and work with their parters, which may lead a more natural and dynamic lifestyles in the future. However, for those addicted to online games may not be confident as others. In some researches, scientists have found that children who drop almost their time on the screen may get problems when interact with strangers. Consequently, though teenagers can learn various knowledge related to particular situations, screens have deprived them of real experience.

On the other hand, if there are a number of games can help to improve and stimulate children's brains to win, gamers always fail in building up healthy lifestyles. Obviously, unless you spend your time and energy in front of the screens, you will never be able to defeat their opponents. That's why some children always pull all-nighter for wating special events, finish all the virtual missions instead of doing exercises. Therefore, the general health condition of young generations seem to be damaged seriously. By contrast, when they take part in sports or some real experience, they will not only learn effectively but also improve their strength properly.

In conclusion, although playing games can be beneficial in some ways, chidren should be encouraged to join outdoor activities more often to have fully development

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It cannot be denied that a big number of teenagers prefer to enjoy a variety of attractive video games instead of participating physical activities as they did.used to. Though computer games have its own positive influences,( nếu sử dụng đoạn này, bạn sẽ phải trình bày thêm những positive influences ở phần body) i totally agree with the idea that outdoor activities is far more advantageous.

On the one hand, by taking part in some realistic activities, children may learn not only practical skills but also develop their physical condition through the games effectively. For example, boys who are interested in soccer games will learn how to collaborate with their teams to win their matches. As a result, they seem to be more confident in communicate when communicating and working with their parters, which may lead to a more natural and dynamic lifestyles in the future. However,In contrast, for those addicted to online games may not be confident as others due to their lack of direct interaction. In some researches, scientists have found that children who drop almost most of their time on the screen may get problems when interacting with strangers. Consequently, though teenagers can learn various knowledge related to particular situations, screens have deprived them of real experience.

On the other hand, if there are a number of games can help to improve and stimulate children's brains to win, gamers always fail in building up healthy lifestyles. Obviously, unless you spend your time and energy in front of the screens, you will never be able to defeat their opponents. That's why some children always pull all-nighter for wating special events, finish all the virtual missions instead of doing exercises. Therefore, the general health condition of young generations seem to be damaged seriously. By contrast, when they take part in sports or some real experience, they will not only learn effectively but also improve their strength properly. Câu này không cần thiết lắm vì bạn đã trình bày ở đoạn trên rồi.

In conclusion, although playing games can be beneficial in some ways, chidren should be encouraged to join outdoor activities more often to have fully a comprehensive development.

 

Hy vọng là những nhận xét của mình có thể giúp bạn!

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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