No one has the same opinion about advertising: some of them Some people thinks think that advertising motivates us to buy things that we really are not are not really required. Others say that advertisements tell inform us about new products that may upgrade our lives. However, I choose to be in the second team which supports advertising the benefits of advertising.
First of all, you people can get be informed of the newest and most beneficial products by advertisements. You can see that nowadays, most of the time we open we spend most of the time watching the television. Therefore, we absolutely see the advertisements from many different brands are being showed. Or sometimes, when we are hanging out on the road, I have to insist that some shops' advertisements will definitely may catch your eyes by different ways. so many people will pay attetion to them, including you. Do you know that what the point of these actions is. They want to encourage us people to buy their products with the latest functions, which have been constantly advanced. Most of the products they sell for us are the most advanced goods. Therefore, this can improve your life in the best ways. For example, if there are two types of cookies you want to try, you absolutely choose the one which has the better evaluation from the customers or the amount that has been sold. This means the more people buy it, the more beneficial benefits it gives us.
Another positive aspect of it advertisement is the cheap prices. Therefore, when you buy the things you see from the advertisments, you can get buy them with the reasonable prices, or sometimes, cheaper than the market. The products are not only fantastic, but also not expensive, so don't hesitate aymore to buy them. The productor wants to make their products become the best seller, so they must arrow the prices down.
These are the reasons why advertisements are actually wonderful for us.
To conclude, I can affirm that advertisement serve a lot of purposes. By providing us with information of the latest products and the most reasonable prices, advertisements are actually improving people's life day by day.
Belowing are my comments :
- You point your own opinion clearly and present a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive.
- You present some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant details
- You may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
- You use paragraphing, but not always logically
- You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task but some words seem to be inappropriate
- You should try to use some more punctuation and relative clauses to create more complex sentences which may improve your band.
Overall, you have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes in your essay. You have to read more essay samples, check your mistakes, gain more vocabulary related to IELTS topics and consistently practice writing. Try your best! Hope my comments can really help you.