Chữa giúp mình bài ielts task 1 này với ạ

Question

  The line graph illustrates the changing patterns of private use of Internet, computer, mobile phones and CD player in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

 

  Overall, it is clear that the trend in four elements of the study was upward. Although the four trends were similar in the terms of a general increase, the figure for a CD player was the highest during the 7-year period.

 

  Over the period, The use of CD player rose steadily from 60% in 1996/97 to 80% at 2002/03. While the internet access, which was the lowest trend throughout the period,  only started at 10% in 1998 and ended up at nearly 45% in 2002/03.

 

  The use of Home computer and Mobile phone showed similar trends. Although they both increased, the figure for mobile phone were higher than home computer after 1998/99. After many minor fluctuations, the propotion of mobile phone was 70% in 2002/03 higher than the final figure for Home computer at approximately 50%

 

Answer 1

The line graph illustrates the changing patterns of changes in the private use of Internet, computer, mobile phones and CD player in households of the UK citizens from 1996 to 2003.

 

  Overall, it is clear that the trend in four elements of the study was all technology saw upward trends . Although the four trends were similar in the terms of a general increase, and the figure for a CD player was the highest during the 7-year period.

 

  Over the period, the use of CD player rose steadily from 60% in 1996/97 to 80% at 2002/03,while . While the figure for the internet access, whose data only recorded since 1998/99, which was the lowest trend throughout the period,  only started starting at 10% in 1998/99 and ended up at nearly 45% in 2002/03.

 

  The use of home computer and mobile phone showed similar trends. Although they both increased, the figure for mobile phone were higher than home computer after 1998/99 by about 4%. After many minor fluctuations (ở đây không có đường nào fluctuate cả bạn nhé) Interestingly, the propotion of mobile phone increased significantly to reach a peak of was 70% in 2002/03, which is 20% higher than the final figure for that of home computer (at approximately 50%).

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