(Mọi người chữa giúp với ạ!!) Nuclear Technology!!
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IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.

Do you agree or disagree?

ESSAY

          Some people argue that weapon of mass destruction may end up the world, while others believe that nuclear power station can produce a considerably sustainable amount of energy. From my perspective, I totally agree that this technology would bring more pros than cons.

          On the one hand, it is undoubted that nuclear or atomic bombs can pose a threat to the world peace. To begin with, as they are weapon of mass destruction, they may cause the death of million people if they are exploded unintentionally in highly populated areas. For this reason, nobody wants to live near these extremely dangerous things. To illustrate, in August 1945, two megacities in Japan were bombarded with two atomic bombs, causing the death of over a hundred thousand people.

          On the other hand, there are some clear benefits for harnessing nuclear technology in generating electricity for millions of people all over the world. First of all, nuclear power is a sustainable energy source. This means that it can supply sufficient power for the majority of residents in cities constantly and continuously. Another important factor is that it helps to produce electricity without wasting natural resources. Hence, it is a potential energy source to replace the use of coal, oil or gas. Last but not least, by making use of nuclear generators, people can minimize carbon footprints that cause global warming.

          In conclusion, people can derive more desirable consequences than unfavorable ones from nuclear technology as above arguments. It seems to me that people should take into consideration using this advanced technology to reap all benefits.

 

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2 Answers

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Nhìn chung thì bài của c khá rõ ràng và thoát ý. Tuy nhiên chỗ they are exploded mình nghĩ nên để chủ động là they explode chứ nhỉ.

Some people argue that weapon of mass destruction may end up the world, while others believe that nuclear power station can produce a considerably sustainable amount of energy. From my perspective, I totally agree that this technology would bring more pros than cons.

          On the one hand, it is undoubted that nuclear or atomic bombs can pose a threat to the world peace. To begin with, as they are weapon of mass destruction, they may cause the death of million people if they are exploded unintentionally in highly populated areas. For this reason, nobody wants to live near these extremely dangerous things. To illustrate, in August 1945, two megacities in Japan were bombarded with two atomic bombs, causing the death of over a hundred thousand people.

          On the other hand, there are some clear benefits for harnessing nuclear technology in generating electricity for millions of people all over the world. First of all, nuclear power is a sustainable energy source. This means that it can supply sufficient power for the majority of residents in cities constantly and continuously. Another important factor is that it helps to produce electricity without wasting natural resources. Hence, it is a potential energy source to replace the use of coal, oil or gas. Last but not least, by making use of nuclear generators, people can minimize carbon footprints that cause global warming.

          In conclusion, people can derive more desirable consequences than unfavorable ones from nuclear technology as above arguments. It seems to me that people should take into consideration using this advanced technology to reap all benefits.

 

by
9 points

1 comment

Cảm ơn bạn nhé, do mình sơ suất quá nên mới để bị lỗi chỗ đó :)
Bạn còn góp ý gì nữa không nhỉ?
1 vote
1 vote
Bài của cậu rõ ràng và logic ghê!!!

Uhm, mình muốn đóng góp nho nhỏ một chút thế này: Bạn nên dùng đa dạng mẫu câu: kiểu passive, it''s..., there is/are...

Ở đoạn 2 ý, cậu nên dùng ví dụ thật sự cụ thể như ở đoạn 1. Band 7-8 khác nhau chỉ ở ví dụ có cụ thể và chính xác không đó!!!! Với cả trong 1 bài writing thì cậu nên có 5 từ mới, kiểu 5 từ nghe rõ kêu ý...

Nhìn chung thì cậu diverse được các phrase của chủ đề này khá tốt rồi...Mình không biết chấm điểm thế nào nhưng chắc cũng có thể chạm được 7 đó
by
24 points

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