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Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children’s studies. On the contracy, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

Answer:

It’s argued that computer games are valueless and harmful to children’s mental and physical development. This essay compeletly agrees with this opinion due to the bad effects these games bring to teenagers. The essay will show why it approves of the opinion.

First of all, one of the most obvious damages is that these games are highly addictive. It is universal known that many teenagers usually sit in front of computer screen for  many straight hours or even a whole day to play games. As a consequence, they spend less time doing excercises and thus many of them start having health problems. According to a recent report, the proportion of obesity among adolescents in some big cites in Vietnam is really high and the main factor responsible for it are eating too much sweet and lack of physical activities. Some others surveys even said that many young male boys had died as a result of playing too much games without intake.

On the other hand, addiction to computer games is definitely damaging to children’s mentality in various aspects.  For one thing, spending more time in playing games means having less time for study. It is not surprised that those who are addicted to games always find it hard to meet the deadline of their school assignments. For another, it is too difficult for children to pay attention to their studies when their mind just concentrate to games. Furthermore, lots of obscene and vilolent scenses in computer games might bring them to commit criminal actions.

In short, from the points mentioned above, it is fair to conclude that computer games are indeed valueless and detrimental to the development of young children. Therefore, schools as well as parents should be alert to the issue and find effective remedy to restrict chidren to access computer games.

 

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1/ In a formal writing, don't use contraction form ( Ex: I'm, he's)

2/ it is universal known --> universally

3/ According to a recent report, the proportion of obesity among adolescents in some big cites in Vietnam is really high and the main factor responsible for it are eating too much sweet and lack of physical activities --> This sentence should be broken down to 2 sentences. Secondly, "the main factor responsible for it are ... " should be changed " the main responsible factors are .... "

 4/ Some others surveys  said that --> other surveys proved that (personally, i think using prove sounds more natural than said)

 

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