IELTS Task 1 - line graph- mọi người xem góp ý giúp em với! [closed]

Question

The line graph compares and contrasts the percentage of birth rate in China and US and how these rates change from 1920 to 2000.

In general, both China and US ‘s birth rate witnessed a downward trend. Moreover, China ‘s birth rate was almost higher than that of US during the period.

From 1920 to 1950, there was a significant fluctuation in the percentage of birth rate of both nations. Specifically, in 1920, there was 10% people was born in US, while the birth rate of China was over 10%  and this figure fluctuated until it decreased to 5% in 1940 and remained stably in 1945. Also, the figures for China oscillated and hit its trough at under 4% in 1945. After that, both birth rate of China and US went up sharply in 1950.

In 1950, the birth rate of US hit its peak at 20% and then dropped sharply to 10% before gradually going down to 2% in 2000. Besides, China’s birth rate declined by 9% between 1950 and 2000. Furthermore, a point was that at that time, china’s birth rate was always above that of US

 

Answer 1

The line graph compares and contrasts the percentage of birth rate babies who were born in China and the U.S and how these rates changed from 1920 to 2000.

In general Overall, both China and US ‘s birth rates witnessed a downward trend. Moreover, China ‘s birth rate was almost higher than that of the U.S during the period.

During the period from 1920 to 1950, there was a significant fluctuation fluctuating decrease in the percentage of birth rates of both nations. Specifically, in 1920, there was 10% of babiespeople was born in the U.S, while the birth rate of China was over 10%.  and this the figure for China fluctuated from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935 before dropping until it decreased to 5% in 1940 and remained stably unchanged/constant in the following 5 years 1945. Also, the figures for the USA China oscillated went up and down and hit its, then falling to a trough of below at under 4% in 1945. After that, both birth rates of China and US went up sharply in 1950.

In 1950, the birth rate of US hit reach its peak at of 20% in 1950 and then dropped sharply to 10% in (?) before dropping gradually going down to 2% in 2000. Besides, China’s birth rate declined by to below 9% between 1950 and 2000. Furthermore, a point was that at that time, China’s birth rate was always above higher than that of the U.S in the remaing time period.

Noted that:

Fluctuation only use with the following dramatic/ slight and small. Or you can use a fluctuating increase/ decrease.