The pie charts below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table show how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Question

The pie chart illustrates the primary reasons that land for agriculture turns less productive around the world. The most – affected element for worldwide land degradation was over – gazing with 35 per cent. Deforestation accounted for 30% of worldwide land degradation, and this figure was similar for over – cultivation, at 35%. There were other factors but only 7% left for this.

These factors affected many regions, including North America, Europe and Oceania. Europe was the region where total land was degraded seriously with 23%, namely, 7,7% from over cultivation, 9,8% from deforestation and 5,5% due to over – gazing. Oceania was the most seriously – affected after Europe. The total farmland became less productive of Oceania was 13%, mainly from deforestation (1,7%) and over – gazing (11,3%). Despite being influenced by 3 main causes, North America had lowest percent of land degraded with 5%.

Overall, Europe suffered from land degradation much more than other regions, high rate of deforestation and over – gazing resulted in this consequence.

Answer 1

Introduction của bạn còn thiếu. Đề bài ( hình như) có 1 pie chart và 1 table thì bạn nên giới thiệu cả table nó nói cái gì nữa, pie chart ko là chưa đủ. 

Thứ 2 là mình không biết bạn bị lỗi copy vào hay sao mà phần detailed 1 lại trùng vào introduction @@

Europe was the region where total land was degraded seriously with 23%, namely, 7,7% from over cultivation, 9,8% from deforestation and 5,5% due to over – gazing. 

=> Europe experienced the most serious effect with 23% degraded total land. The reasons coming from over cultivation, desforestation and over-gazing were 7.7%, 9.8% and 5.5% respectively. 

Oceania was the most seriously – affected after Europe. The total farmland became less productive of Oceania was 13%, mainly from deforestation (1,7%) and over – gazing (11,3%). 

=> The fingures for unproductive land in Oceania was 13% and deforestation (1.7%) and over- gazing (11.3%) caused this overall. 

 

Despite being influenced by 3 main causes, North America had lowest percent of land degraded with 5%.

=> Conversely, lover than around 1/4 of vulgarized land in Europe was North America's land.  

Hi vọng lần sau bạn có đưa link hình ảnh chart để dễ dàng hơn :D Mình cũng mới học nên có điều gì sơ suất mong bạn thông cảmm. Anw, you did a great job. ^^ Hope it help and keep it moving <3 

Answer 2

Bài của bạn sau khi được góp ý khá là ok. Mình đang mới tập viết IELTS nên mình có thể tham khảo bài của bạn ko? =))))