The pie charts below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table show how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the primary reasons that land for agriculture turns less productive around the world. The most – affected element for worldwide land degradation was over – gazing with 35 per cent. Deforestation accounted for 30% of worldwide land degradation, and this figure was similar for over – cultivation, at 35%. There were other factors but only 7% left for this.

These factors affected many regions, including North America, Europe and Oceania. Europe was the region where total land was degraded seriously with 23%, namely, 7,7% from over cultivation, 9,8% from deforestation and 5,5% due to over – gazing. Oceania was the most seriously – affected after Europe. The total farmland became less productive of Oceania was 13%, mainly from deforestation (1,7%) and over – gazing (11,3%). Despite being influenced by 3 main causes, North America had lowest percent of land degraded with 5%.

Overall, Europe suffered from land degradation much more than other regions, high rate of deforestation and over – gazing resulted in this consequence.
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Introduction của bạn còn thiếu. Đề bài ( hình như) có 1 pie chart và 1 table thì bạn nên giới thiệu cả table nó nói cái gì nữa, pie chart ko là chưa đủ. 

Thứ 2 là mình không biết bạn bị lỗi copy vào hay sao mà phần detailed 1 lại trùng vào introduction @@

Europe was the region where total land was degraded seriously with 23%, namely, 7,7% from over cultivation, 9,8% from deforestation and 5,5% due to over – gazing. 

=> Europe experienced the most serious effect with 23% degraded total land. The reasons coming from over cultivation, desforestation and over-gazing were 7.7%, 9.8% and 5.5% respectively. 

Oceania was the most seriously – affected after Europe. The total farmland became less productive of Oceania was 13%, mainly from deforestation (1,7%) and over – gazing (11,3%). 

=> The fingures for unproductive land in Oceania was 13% and deforestation (1.7%) and over- gazing (11.3%) caused this overall. 

 

Despite being influenced by 3 main causes, North America had lowest percent of land degraded with 5%.

=> Conversely, lover than around 1/4 of vulgarized land in Europe was North America's land.  

Hi vọng lần sau bạn có đưa link hình ảnh chart để dễ dàng hơn :D Mình cũng mới học nên có điều gì sơ suất mong bạn thông cảmm. Anw, you did a great job. ^^ Hope it help and keep it moving <3 

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Bài của bạn sau khi được góp ý khá là ok. Mình đang mới tập viết IELTS nên mình có thể tham khảo bài của bạn ko? =))))

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