WRITING TASK 1: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Question

   The chart illustrates how many passengers over the courses 16 hours starting 6:00 of London Underground Station.

   Looking at the graph, It is immediately obvious that the number of passengers experience no change from 6:00 am to 22:00 pm

   Specifically, , from 6:00 to 7:00, the percentage of passengers increased significantly and peaked at 4:00. And after a hour, it reduced dramatically by about 200. Between 11:00 and 14:00, there was a slight rise in passengers. And then, there were a quickly fluctuation in the number of passenger over the course of six hours starting from 14:00. Finally, the number of passenger experienced no shiff at the end of hour.

 

Answer 1

The chart illustrates how many passengers over[NN1]  the courses 16 hours starting 6:00 of London Underground Station.

Looking at the graph, It is immediately obvious that the number of passengers experience[NN2]  no change [NN3] from 6:00 am to 22:00 pm

Specifically, ,[NN4]  from 6:00 to 7:00, the percentage [NN5] of passengers increased significantly and peaked at 4:00. [NN6] And[NN7]  after a hour, it reduced dramatically by about 200. Between 11:00 and 14:00, there was a slight rise in passengers[NN8] . And then, [NN9] there were a quickly [NN10] fluctuation in the number of passenger [NN11] over the course of six hours [NN12] starting from 14:00. Finally, the number of passenger[NN13]  experienced no shiff at the end of hour.[NN14]

                                                                                                                                                               110 words <<150

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 [NN1]Grammar error: lack of verb

=> how many passengers paid a visit to the London underground station over 16-hour period from 6 am to 10 pm

 [NN2]Grammar error: Paste tense

=> experienced

 [NN3]Wrong information: fluctuated

 [NN4]Abundant comma

 [NN5]Wrong information: the number of

 [NN6]Wrong information: reached its lowest point of 100 passenger at 4:00 pm

 [NN7]Inappropriate vocabulary: Moreover,

 [NN8]Inappropriate vocabulary: in the number of visitors

 [NN9]Informal: After that/ Subsequently

 [NN10]Grammar error: adjective

=> quick => rapid/ considerable

 [NN11]Grammar error: passengers

 [NN12]Inappropriate vocabulary: Over the 6-hour interval

 [NN13]Grammar error: passengers

 [NN14]Inappropriate vocabulary: remained stable at the end of the period

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CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Achivement	5	• addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places • expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn • presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail
Coherence and Cohension	5	• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression • makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices • may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution • may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate
Lexical Resource	5	• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task • may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	5	• uses only a limited range of structures • attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences • may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
Overall	5.0	Please refer to comments and each criterion to see what you need to improve. You have great potential, be more careful next time

 

 

 

Answer 2

Being thankful your task. I have just read it and maybe I see that there are some mistakes.

1.  "Specifically, from 6:00 to 7:00, the percentage of passengers increased significantly and peaked at 4:00. And after a hour, it reduced dramatically by about 200."

===>>> "Specifically, , from 6:00 to 7:00, the percentage of passengers increased significantly and peaked at 8:00 respectively 400 passengers. Whereas in two hours later, it reduced dramatically by about 200 people."


2.  "<there was a slight rise in passengers. And then, there were a quickly fluctuation in the number of passenger over the course of six hours starting from 14:00.>"

===>>> "you should combine two these sentences by using "though or in sptie of".


3.  "Finally, the number of passenger experienced no shiff at the end of hour"  ===>>> I suppose that you can be separate the last sentences in new one and mention some ideas from 16:00 to 22:00.

4.  Noted that Your summaries may be not enough least 150 words if you write for IELTS, then I say you should extra information in the last 8 hours.

Thank you so much. I also show my own view, if there are any trouble issues, you can reply me. Best Regard!