edited by
803 views
0 votes
0 votes

Write about the following topic:

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What other measures do you think might be effective?

Rất  mong nhận được góp ý của mọi người. Xin chân thành cảm ơn!

Nguyen Tinh

Answer

 

The growth of traffic and pollution problems from vehicles has, without doubt, impinged on many areas of people's lives around the world. In order to tackle this situation, there are numerous possible solutions, which are more effective than rising fuel costs.

Despite the fact that using own cars is considered as one of the major reasons of  increasing a lots of problematic things associated with traffic and pollution, the introduction of  higher prices of fuels does not seem to be a suitable solution. This is because of many negative impacts on our economy. Many economic experts have demonstrated that increasing inflation rate often coincides with rises in price of petrol that plays an important role in production and transport. What they want to emphasize is that this could lead to greater poverty and many low-income working families facing further hardship. In fact, many approaches could be applied in order to improve the traffic and pollution.

One of the best approaches is that governments should encourage their citizens to use public transport so that the gas emissions from private cars as well as traffic congestion could be reduced. This means public transport facilities have to be well run and people must be able to afford them. In addition, if car parks and shopping centers are constructed on the outskirts, it could be an effective strategy for discouraging people from actually entering cities. Besides, green fuels and vehicles may be significant precursors to improvements of air quality, particularly in mega cities. To achieve that, governments should encourage manufactures to produce more environmentally friendly electric cars that are both quieter and cleaner to use.

In conclusion, rising higher prices of petrol does not seem to be the answer. Governments do should involve encouraging individuals to use public transport and environmentally friendly fuels and vehicles.

(301 words)

edited by
by
93 points

Please log in or register to answer this question.

1 Answer

3 votes
3 votes

Vì đây là dạng bài Opinion essay nên theo mình bạn nên đưa ra quan điểm của mình rõ ràng hơn bằng việc sử dụng các cấu trúc như I believe, In my opinion, I agree,...

 

1 vài lỗi nhỏ mình muốn góp ý:

Despite the fact that using own cars is considered as one of the major reasons of  increasing a lots of problematic things associated with traffic and pollution

1. reason for sth

2. something ở phía sau reason của bạn là "increasing ...." phải sửa thành the increase in ...

3. a lot of hoặc lots of, không có a lots of

4. problematic things associated with traffic and pollution: sounds unnatural. Nó chính là vấn đề về traffic và pollution, chứ không phải associated with. Việc bôi từ ở đây là thừa và không hiệu quả. Ngoài ra things còn rất informal, sửa cả cụm thành problems là đủ.

5. Nhiệm vụ của câu đầu tiên mỗi đoạn thân bài là phải đưa ra idea. Mình tạm hiểu đoạn body 1 bạn đưa ra lý do tại sao nâng giá xăng không hợp lý thì câu đầu tiên của đoạn phải chỉ ra 1) có rất nhiều lý do khiến cho việc này không hợp lý, thứ nhất là, thứ hai là,....hoặc 2) lý do abcxyz (1 lý do cho cả đoạn). Tuy nhiên bạn chỉ có 1 lý do mà câu đầu tiên không đi thẳng vào nó.

Tạm thời mình dừng tại đây :D

 

by
14 points

1 comment

Xin cảm ơn bạn rebellious-flower! Mình sẽ lưu ý những lỗi bạn đã góp ý.

Related questions

0 votes
0 votes
2 answers
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
0 answers
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
trinhhuynh1709 asked May 9, 2019
trinhhuynh1709 asked May 9, 2019
by trinhhuynh1709
3 points
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
Anana Tran asked Apr 6, 2019
Anana Tran asked Apr 6, 2019
by Anana Tran
0 points
0 votes
0 votes
0 answers