[Band 8.0] Writing task 1: Pie Chart (Cambridge 10 test 1)

Question

Topic:

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons when relevant

Answer: 

  The first chart compares six sectors for which energy is used in a typical family in Australia, whilst the second chart gives data about the corresponding proportion of greenhouse gas emissions produced by them.

  Overall, heating in general consumes the largest percentage of energy use, and it is the key driver of greenhouse gas emission as well.

  In an Australian family, heating and water heating account for 42% and 30% of the total energy usage respectively. The remainder of energy is primarily used for other appliances, at 15%, and refrigeration, at 7%, whereas the energy consumption of cooling and lighting is quite insignificant, adding up to only 6% of the total use.

  Water heating, however, is also responsible for relative high proportion of the amount of greenhouse gas emitted, comprising 32% of the total. It is also noticeable that although heating constitutes by far the greatest proportion of energy consumed, only 15% of greenhouse gases sent out are attributable to it. By contrast, the figure stands at 28% as for other appliances and 14% for refrigeration, almost doubling compared to the proportions of them in energy usage. Likewise, 3% of emissions are caused by cooling and 8% of those are produced by lighting, notwithstanding their lesser percentages of energy use.

 

Answer 1

The first chart compares six sectors for which energy is used in a typical family in Australia, whilst while the second chart gives data about the corresponding proportion of greenhouse gas emissions produced by them.

Overall, heating in general consumes the largest percentage of energy use usage, and it is the key driver of greenhouse gas emission as well.

In an average Australian family, heating and water heating account for 42% and 30% of the total energy usage respectively. The remainder of energy is primarily used for other appliances, at 15%, and refrigeration, at 7%, whereas the energy consumption of cooling and lighting is quite insignificant, adding up to only 6% of the total use.

Water heating, however accordingly, is also responsible for relative high proportion of the amount of greenhouse gas emitted, comprising 32% of the total. It is also noticeable that although heating constitutes by far the greatest proportion of energy consumed, only 15% of greenhouse gases sent out are attributable to it other heating needs. By contrast, the figure stands at 28% as for other appliances and 14% for refrigeration, almost doubling compared to the proportions of them in energy usage. Likewise, 3% of emissions are caused by cooling and 8% of those are produced by lighting, notwithstanding their lesser percentages of energy use.

	Grade
Task Response	8	covers all requirements of the task sufficiently presents, highlights and illustrates key features/bullet points clearly and appropriately
Cohesion and Coherence	8	sequences information and ideas logically manages all aspects of cohesion well uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
Vocabulary	8	uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings
Grammar	8	uses a wide range of structures the majority of sentences are error-free makes only very occasional errors
Overall	8	Really good.