every year several languages die out. To some people, it is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

It is surveyed that the diversity of languages over the world has been being diminished. Some people suppose this trend is not worth considering and somehow may benefit the globalization. In my viewpoint, I would concur that with fewer speeches on the globe, everybody can live more happily due to some reasons.

On one side, the disappearance of some languages that are not widely spoken would yield some benefits to migrators. Language barriers are the most difficulty for people wanting to migrate to other places. One may not be accepted in daily activities by the local community or acquire full living rights because of these barriers. For example, they might not be able to make transactions with local people or their suggestions to the local projects, if not proposed in the native tongue, could be overridden by the council. Therefore, if the world used a comprehensive and unique tongue, such consequences would not appear.

On other side, without lingual diversities, human civilizations would develop more balanced over the globe. Every country has its own culture which contains living experiences gained from living conditions and knowledge or achievements which are acquired through a long historical development. These valuable sources, if could be written down to documents in a universal language, would be progagated widely and thoroughly over the world. As a result, people could mutually learn from each other and make their own country prosper like others.

To conclude, the death of many unpopularly used languages in the world, in my opinion, could not only enhance the possiblity of equilibrium of prosperity between nations thanks to easily exchanging culture and knowledge but also erase impediments to migration.

(276 words)

Answer 1

It is surveyed that the diversity of languages over the world has been being diminished => "languages" có thể tự "diminished" mà không cần sự tác động từ chủ thể nên mình nghĩ là dùng câu chủ động ở đây sẽ hợp lí hơn

Language barriers are the most difficulty for people wanting to migrate to other places => "want" không có dạng Gerunds. Ở câu này không nên rút gọn mệnh đề quan hệ mà giữ nguyên là "who want"

One may not be accepted in daily activities by the local community or acquire full living rights because of these barriers. For example, they might not be able to make transactions with local people or their suggestions to the local projects, if not proposed in the native tongue, could be overridden by the council => Lỗi về dùng từ thay thế. Nên thay "one" thành "those"

On other side, without lingual diversities, human civilizations would develop more balanced over the globe => Lỗi về mạo từ: On the other side. Lỗi về bổ nghĩa từ: sau develop cần 1 trạng từ và để bổ nghĩa cho một sự việc thì phải dùng tính từ dạng "-ing", nên sửa "balanced" thành "balancingly". Lỗi về trạng từ: "over the globe" thì có thể hiểu là "vượt ra ngoài vũ trụ" (đại khái thế :D), nên sửa thành "all over the world"

These valuable sources, if could be written down to documents in a universal language, would be progagated widely and thoroughly over the world => tránh viết sai chính tả nha bạn

To conclude, the death of many unpopularly used languages in the world, in my opinion, could not only enhance the possiblity of equilibrium of prosperity between nations thanks to easily exchanging culture and knowledge but also erase impediments to migration => Lỗi bổ nghĩa từ: Từ "unpopularly" bạn nghĩ nó bổ nghĩa cho "used" nên dùng tính từ nhưng không phải, cả 2 tính từ này đều bổ nghĩa cho "languages".