IELTS Task 2 cambrige 9 every year, language die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. [closed]

Question

Exercise: Every year, several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.

    

   It has become increasingly popular that numerous languages are on the verge of extinction. Some people believe that this tendency is not crucial since people will have happier lifestyles with fewer global languages. I partly agree with this view.

  On the one hand, the disappearance of some languages in the world exert a detrimental effect on people’s life in many nations which are witnessing an extinction of languages. The main reason is that this leads to the loss of these countries’ cultural identity. It could be said that languages are key to help people have a deeper understanding of one community's history, culture and tradition. Therefore, when the loss of languages happens, people have a difficulty in preserving the values of these cultures for the future generations. However, nowadays, due to the breakthrough of the Internet, we can easily access all expertise by translating these ancient data stored on the computer.

   On the other hand,  the extinction of  minority languages has certain benefits for all people in the world. The first one is that this trend makes sociable communications more effective. Due to the death of some languages, people may tend to speak the same languages. This change eliminates lingual barriers between some nations in the world and connects us closer with others. For example, Vietnamese youngsters speak  English as a second language so they can travel abroad and make friends with overseas people. The second one is that fewer languages save considerable costs. It saves not only much time and effort to learn foreign languages but also a huge amount of money spent annually to recruit translators and interpreters for business. As a result, I believe that the fewer accents we have, the more economical the public will spend to  communicate in the global market.

   In conclusion, while it is true that today there are some difficulties with fewer languages, I believe that these issues can be solved by the improvement of technology and human life will be better if we use fewer languages in the world. 

 

Answer 1

Okay, I will give you some pointers.

 

First, it makes no sense that "numerous languages are on the verge of extinction" has become increasingly popular.

 

You can say that something is popular, which means that it is liked, enjoyed, or done by a lot of people. For example, walking is a popular form of exercise in Vietnam; or Nam is a popular student in school.

 

In addition, you can say a popular opinion/view/fact, which means that it is shared by many people. However, this usage requires that the adjective "popular" must stand before the noun it modifies. Therefore, you should say "It has become an increasingly popular fact that numerous languages are on the verge of extinction".

 

You also have many errors in articles, some of which are:

 

'On the one hand, the disappearance of some languages in the world exert a detrimental effect on people’s life -> lives in many nations which are witnessing an -> the extinction of those/the languages." (use "the" when the reader know what are you talking about)

 

"Therefore, when the loss of languages happens, people have a difficulty in preserving the values of these cultures for the future generations." (you are making generalizations and you have not mentioned any of the values of these cultures")

 

"However, nowadays, due to the breakthrough of the Internet, we can easily access all expertise by translating these ancient data stored on the -> a computer." (which computer?)

 

"For example, Vietnamese youngsters speak  English as a- > the second language so they can travel abroad and make friends with overseas people." (use "the" with nouns that show rank and order such as the first, the second, the following, the next,...)