That many students are far too on computers for their study may have some negative effects . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ? [closed]

Question

Over the past few decades , the world are revolutionised with computerisation . Therefore , the government is trying to bring the computer into education . Although computers can help   students  to gain  a wide range of knowledge ,  many people think that student are gradually  depend   on computers  for their study may have some negative effects . From my observation and my point of view , i believe that the disagvantages of it outweigh the advantages . 

To begin with , the benefits  of using computerare  are widely admitted .  As a high-tech tool , computers can provide students with diversified method to learn more efficiently. They can get many news in every part of the world , some of which can draw many lessons from and avoid it . Besides, the  computer  is the place where students can help themselves to gather a lot of information through many websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call  , which supports them to absorb knowledge effectively with good spirit in a lively atmosphere . 

On the other hand, students are far too on computers  for their study . Firstly , they  are tend to rely too much on computers to search for available information instead of thinking by themselves . Secondly ,  remember that  students are  children who  are still lack of self-control , so they are likely to be addicted to computers, video game is a particular example . Being exposed to computers but not for studying  is not only wasting their time which can  be used to do many thing but also  can lead students to be tempted to play games  and lose their intesrest in studying . Furthermore , their perspective and knowledge about real world are not developed well if they deep into virtual world ,which seriously affects and destroy their future . Thirdly ,although they have a good purpose , using computers for long hours has  both physical and psychological effects such as short-sighted and  memory reduction . .

In conslusion , despite the negative effects , studying on computers can bring many benefit for students who wisely know how to take advantage of it . However, students should be encouraged to use computer daily to enhance knowledge while taking precaution in order not to affect their health . 

 

 

Answer 1

Over the past few decades , the world are revolutionised with computerisation . Therefore , the government is trying to bring the computer into education . Although computers can help   students  to gain  a wide range of knowledge ,  many people think that student are gradually  depend   on computers  for their study may have some negative effects . From my observation and my point of view , i believe that the disagvantages of it outweigh the advantages . 

To begin with , the benefits  of using computerare  are widely admitted .  As a high-tech tool , computers can provide students with diversified method to learn more efficiently. They can get many news in every part of the world , some of which can draw many lessons from and avoid it . Besides, the  computer  is the place where students can help themselves to gather a lot of information through many websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call  , which supports them to absorb knowledge effectively with good spirit in a lively atmosphere . 

On the other hand, students are far too on computers  for their study . Firstly , they  are tend to rely too much on computers to search for available information instead of thinking by themselves . Secondly ,  remember that  students are  children who  are still lack of self-control , so they are likely to be addicted to computers, video game is a particular example . Being exposed to computers but not for studying  is not only wasting their time which can  be used to do many thing but also  can lead students to be tempted to play games  and lose their intesrest in studying . Furthermore , their perspective and knowledge about real world are not developed well if they deep into virtual world ,which seriously affects and destroy their future . Thirdly ,although they have a good purpose , using computers for long hours has  both physical and psychological effects such as short-sighted and  memory reduction . .

In conslusion , despite the negative effects , studying on computers can bring many benefit for students who wisely know how to take advantage of it . However, students should be encouraged to use computer daily to enhance knowledge while taking precaution in order not to affect their health . 

 

Comments

Over the past few decades, the world are revolutionised with computerisation . Therefore , the government [SC1] governments are is [SC2] trying to bring the computer into education . Although computers can help   students  to gain  a wide range of knowledge ,  many people think that student are gradually  depend   on computers [SC3]  for their study [SC4] may have some negative effects . From my observation and my point of view [SC5] , i believe [SC6] that the disagvantages[SC7]  of it outweigh the advantages [SC8] .

To begin with , the benefits  of using computerare[SC9]   are widely admitted .  As a high-tech tool, computers can provide students with diversified method to learn more efficiently[SC10] . They can get many news in every part of the world [SC11] , some of which can draw many lessons from and avoid it [SC12] . Besides, the  computer  is the place where students can help themselves to gather a lot of information through many websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call  , which supports them to absorb knowledge effectively with good spirit in a lively atmosphere . [SC13]

On the other hand, students are far too on computers  for their study [SC14] . Firstly , they  are tend to rely too much on computers to search for available information instead of thinking by themselves . Secondly ,  remember that  students are  children [SC15] who  are still lack of self-control[SC16]  , so they are likely to be addicted to computers, video game is a particular example . Being exposed to computers but not for studying  is not only wasting their time which can  be used to do many thing but also  can lead students to be tempted to play games  and lose their intesrest in studying[W17]  . Furthermore , their perspective and knowledge about real world are not developed well if they deep into virtual world ,which seriously affects and destroy their future . Thirdly [W18] ,although they have a good purpose , using computers for long hours has  both physical and psychological effects such as short-sighted and  memory reduction[W19]  . .

In conslusion , despite the negative effects , studying on computers can bring many benefit for students who wisely know how to take advantage of it . However, students should be encouraged to use computer daily to enhance knowledge while taking precaution in order not to affect their health .
 [SC1]Grammar error: just use “governments”

 [SC2]Grammar error: Pronoun + are

 [SC3]Grammar structure:  do not use are and V in sentence, correct: students gradually depend on

 [SC4]Grammar error: use linking word or rewrite it to single sentence and add subject

 [SC5]Expression suggesting:  from my view or perspective

 [SC6]Expression suggesting: believe in

 [SC7]Spelling error: disadvantage

 [SC8]Expression error: your idea and your expression do not meet each other :)

 [SC9]Spelling error: computers

 [SC10]Expression suggesting: computer are able to provide to student as dynamic method for learning.

 [SC11]Expression suggesting: the device are equipped internet which help to update news, knowledge etc.

 [SC12]Expression suggesting: Sorry, I do not understand this sentence.

 [SC13]Expression suggesting: the sentence is too long due to is easy to make mistake in grammar.

 [SC14]Expression error: the sentence is not clear, reader have go guess meaning based on these other words

 [SC15]Expression suggesting: meaning is to clear, u shoud rewrite

 [SC16]Grammar error: are = V, lack = V, remove are

 [W17]Expression suggestion:  do not use long sentence, it easily lead to grammar error.

Children expose to computer in certain period of time for entertaiment purpose which could lead to be tempt on it. Consequently the transition was completed from learning’s interest to other’s interest, it would worst form of status of students
 [W18]Expression suggestion:you should use ‘finally’ instead thirdly

 [W19]Grammar error: form: as such as + N ( adj + N = wrong form)

Answer 2

Over the past few decades , the world are revolutionised with computerisation . Therefore , the government is trying to bring the computer into education . Although computers can help   students  to gain  a wide range of knowledge ,  many people think that student are gradually  depend   on computers  for their study may have some negative effects . From my observation and my point of view , i believe that the disagvantages of it outweigh the advantages . 

To begin with , the benefits  of using computerare  are widely admitted .  As a high-tech tool , computers can provide students with diversified method to learn more efficiently. They can get many news in every part of the world , some of which can draw many lessons from and avoid it . Besides, the  computer  is the place where students can help themselves to gather a lot of information through many websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call  , which supports them to absorb knowledge effectively with good spirit in a lively atmosphere . 

On the other hand, students are far too on computers  for their study . Firstly , they  are tend to rely too much on computers to search for available information instead of thinking by themselves . Secondly ,  remember that  students are  children who  are still lack of self-control , so they are likely to be addicted to computers, video game is a particular example . Being exposed to computers but not for studying  is not only wasting their time which can  be used to do many thing but also  can lead students to be tempted to play games  and lose their intesrest in studying . Furthermore , their perspective and knowledge about real world are not developed well if they deep into virtual world ,which seriously affects and destroy their future . Thirdly ,although they have a good purpose , using computers for long hours has  both physical and psychological effects such as short-sighted and  memory reduction . .

In conslusion , despite the negative effects , studying on computers can bring many benefit for students who wisely know how to take advantage of it . However, students should be encouraged to use computer daily to enhance knowledge while taking precaution in order not to affect their health .