IELTS Task 1 - The graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/5

Question

Mọi người sửa giúp em bài này với ạ ^^ Bài này nếu viết như thế thì được khoảng bao nhiêu chấm ạ???
The graph below shows the number of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/5. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Link biểu đồ: https://www.testbig.com/sites/default/files/UK-railway%20journey%201950_2004.png

The line graph shows information about the number of commuter trips using National rail network, London Underground, light rail and metro systems in UK between 1950 and 2004/5.
Overall, the number of journeys made on the three railway networks shared the similarly increasing trend, especially London Underground, although there was a considerable decrease in 1980.
Looking into details, National rail network had remained stable in 1950 until rocketed to about 1100 millions in the next 5 years. Then, there was a huge drop between 1955 and 1975, while the number of passenger journeys made by using London Underground remained unchanged at about 700 millions. It can be observed that London Underground and National rail network all bottomed at 500 and 600 millions respectively in the 1981-1982 period, then restarted to rise dramatically in the next years.
In comparison, the number of trips made by National rail network were less than that of London Underground, presenting by 990 and 1100 millions in 2004/5. Moreover, light rail and metro systems slightly declined from 1965 to 1980, then increased to about 200 millions in 2004/5. It is clear that London Underground carried the most of passengers, followed by National rail network, and the light railway and metro systems had the least number of commuters.

Answer 1

The line graph gives information about the number of commuter trips using National rail network, London Underground, light rail and metro systems in UK from 1950 to 2004/5.

Theo mình phần mở bài mình nên thay những từ mình khác để cho người chấm thấy mình có nhiều từ vưng nha bạn

Answer 2

Bài viết tạm ổn, tuy nhiên mình có góp ý nớ hơi lộn xộn, bạn chia theo từng giai đoạn là ổn hơn viết theo xu hướng. cùng vs đó từ vựng mô tả nên nhiều và rõ hơn, sử dụng cấu trúc the number of.... that,.........

Answer 3

1/ the number of trips made by National Rail network were less than that of Lon don Underground, presenting by 990 and  100 millions in 2004/5. 

Mình nghĩ bạn nên dùng fewer ở đây. 

2/ It is clear that London Underground carried the most of passengers.

Mình nghĩ nên bỏ the. 

3/ and the light railway and metro systems had the least number of commuters.

Mình nghĩ nên dùng the fewest