Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motobikes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
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It is true that traffic issues like traffic jam or traffic accidents have been receiving a great deal of social attention due to their negative impacts on healthy people both physically and metally. Although some consider restricting younger drivers act as a deterent for road traffic safer but this can not be viewed as ultimate solution to address traffic proplems.

         There are a number of reason why restricting the legal age for driving vehicle such as cars or motorbikes can do more harm than good. First, by raising the minimum legal age for driving cars, teenagers would be less motivated to learn how to drive responsibly at young ages. In fact, if they get older and are busier, they will be more likely to lose their interest of being good drivers, which could potentially diminish road safety. Second, since some teenagers were not allowed to drive even when they were in need, they would choose to break the law regardless, which might put other drivers in jeopardy. For example, if a teenager needed to bring his family member to the hospital in the case of emergency, he would have no choice but to drive, even if he was not prepared to.

        Another compelling reason to not raising the legal age is that it is the factor that not ultimately decide to engage in causing traffic accidents. First, underdeveloped traffic systems are also the main cause to contributing to road accidents. Plenty of evidence suggests that in countries having modern traffic systems such as Japan or Germany accident rates is always in low level in contrast in countries where have poor ones. In addition, many people reaching a certain level of driving age have been causing accidents the most non younger drivers. Therefore, governments and educational institution take steps to raising the ware of traffic law, which is key solution to bring back the safety when participating in movement.

       In conclusion, increasing the legal age for driving is not the best solution for improving road safety. By focusing improve traffic network as well as educate everyone abide by traffic law will deliver better results.
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It is true that traffic issues like traffic jam or traffic accidents  ( traffic safety problem) have been receiving a great deal of social attention due to their negative impacts on healthy people both physically and metally  ( the life ).Although some consider restricting younger drivers act as a deterrent for road traffic safer but this can not be viewed as the ultimate solution to address traffic problems

         There are a number of reason why restricting the legal age for the driving vehicles such as cars or motorbikes can do more harm than good. First, by raising the minimum legal age for driving cars, teenagers would be less motivated to learn how to drive responsibly at young ages. 
* Đoạn mở bài bạn viết hơi lủng củng, không rõ ý. Bạn đang "agree or disagree" Mình nên viết đơn giản thế này: It is true that the traffic safety problems have received a great deal of attention from the public due to its negative impacts on human life. In this essay, the noticeable reasons will be brought out in order to prove that the best solution to increase road safety is increasing the minimum legal age for both driving cars or riding the motorbike. 

* Bài bạn lỗi chính tả, mạo từ hơi nhiều. Bạn xem lại nha. Về đoạn thân bài, mình chưa hiểu ý bạn muốn nói gì? Ví dụ:  First, by raising the minimum legal age for driving cars, teenagers would be less motivated to learn how to drive responsibly at young ages. ( Đầu tiên, bằng việc tăng độ tuổi lái xe hợp pháp đối với xe hơi, thanh thiếu niên sẽ giảm ít áp lực để học làm thế nào để lái xe có trách nhiệm ở độ tuổi này) Thay vào đó bạn nên nói rằng: Firstly, by raising the minimum legal age will the numerous of traffic accidents be minimally reduced. Sau đó triển khai tại sao tai nạn được giảm thiểu. 

 

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less motivated: là sẽ ít có động lực hơn chứ sao lại giảm áp lực được
Ở đây bạn ấy đang Disagree, sao bạn lại sửa mở bài thành "Agree" đc?

Mặt khác, trong bài essay bạn ấy nói "less motivated to learn how to drive responsibly at young ages" để chứng minh cho luận điểm solution này nhiều drawbacks là hợp lí đấy chứ. C hiểu nhầm ý kiến của người viết là "disagree" nên mới sửa sai như vậy

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