Ielts writing task 2 from newbie, thank you for correcting

Question

In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in some country the youth is more valued.

Discuss both view and give your opinion.

 

 

There are some paradoxical opions of wheter elder people or youngsters are more precious in many different region in the world. However, I am strongly convinced that the younger generations are playing an indespensible role in vast majority of fields.

 

On the one hand, the oldmen have the abilities to accomplish goals in advanced levels with their absolute experiences. All of those talents due to a fact they have sufferd throught many desparate situations. Hence, their value is to solve a problem precisely and swifty, which is paramount nowaday. A prestigious evidence that many leaders are the old age.

 

In spite of these arguments, I belive that youth is able to bring more creations , a brand new vision to a obstacle. The younger people also could adapt themselves in many stressful places, acclimatise fastly with innovation and cutting-edge technology. many incredible achievements have been done by the young generation such as softwares and social websites.

 

In conclusion, althought it might be sensible for somebody to suppose that the old age earn a bigger value, i personally approriate the young people with their potential ablities.

 

 

 

 

Answer 1

There are some paradoxical opinions of whether elder people or youngsters are more precious in many different regions in the world. However, I am strongly convinced that the younger generations are playing an indispensable role in a vast majority of fields.

 

On the one hand, the old men have the abilities to accomplish goals in advanced levels with their absolute experiences. All of those talents due to a fact they have suffered through many desperate situations. Hence, their value is to solve a problem precisely and swifty, which is paramount nowadays. A prestigious evidence that many leaders are the old age.

 

In spite of these arguments, I believe that youth is able to bring more creations, a brand new vision to an obstacle. The younger people also could adapt themselves in many stressful places, acclimatize fastly with innovation and cutting-edge technology. many incredible achievements have been done by the young generation such as software and social websites.

 

In conclusion, although it might be sensible for somebody to suppose that the old age earns a bigger value, i personally appreciate the young people with their potential abilities.