IELTS Writing Task 2: Living in big cities is good for people health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
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      Topic: Living in big cities is good for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

   Nowadays, more and more people tend to move and settle down in big cities. It has a vast number of reasons for them to live there, and one of which is regarding to healthcare. I am of the opinion that living in big cities gives us both advantages and disadvantages.

   I will start at looking at the advantages. First, modern equipment and hospitals with professional doctors and nurses who train in an intensive environment makes it possible to have medical check-up every six month. We now don not have to worry about wrong diagnosis as innovative technology used in big hospitals. We will have exact diagnosis of our diseases and easily cure them. Second, modern facilities give us the best health care. They provide a great many of fitness centers, yoga classes and means of entertainment. That is why we can keep our body shape, be stronger, and more importantly, relax after a hard-working day. Yoga is chosen by many people, especially women and workers because it can make a balance between work and life. Third, nutritious food and healthy products are always available. They provide us energy and necessary vitamins or proteins for our body.

   Some detrimental impacts, however, should not be overlooked. First, in developed country, pollution is a hot potato that governments are now trying to reduce. One of the most dangerous pollution is noise. It is caused by vehicles or construction sites, which can be caught sight of everywhere in metropolis. Noise pollution can lead to sleeplessness or lack of concentrate. It greatly affects citizens, especially elderly and children and result in physical exhaustion or have bad memory if being sleepless for a particular time. Busy traffic also deprives our time for relaxation and makes them in a bad mood for a day. Second, poisonous food can also have negative effect on people’s health. If they keep using poisonous food for a long time, it will bring about some health problems, such as diabetes, cholera or strokes. One disadvantage that really should be mentioned is working pressure. Individuals need to work too hard so that they don’t have time to prepare food. That is the reason why they usually buy fast food or canned food for their meals, which can make them overweight or lack of needed nutrition. On top of that, living in cosmopolitan cities will bring citizens to mental illness. Pressure from work, education, family or society may put residents under depression. For instance, Japan is a country that has the highest rate of people suicide because of the extremely strong pressure which they have to suffer.

   In conclusion, the disadvantageous side of living in big cities is more than the advantageous one. Although I do not neglect that living in metropolis is completely good for residents’ health, it still brings a large amount of benefits that we really cannot deny.

   Alexandra Cyrille

 

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5 Answers

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Hello Alex. Cy 

Mình có thấy bạn posted 2 bài viết của task 2, nội dung 2 bài này quá dài, mỗi bài đều hơn 400 chữ, như vậy là không đúng với format bài writing task 2 roài( Tối đa dưới 300 chữ). Bạn có gắng viết lại rồi mình và các mem khác sẽ góp ý cho bài viết của bạn nhé ! have a nice day :)

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Yeah tớ cảm ơn. Thực sự viết xong tớ thấy nó rất dài nên giờ tớ đang tính lược bớt đây ;;v;;
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Mình khuyên bạn câu mở bài nên nêu rõ ý kiến luôn ạ. Đọc trông giống như là dạng Discuss both of views í! Đây là dạng opinions bạn ạ. Khéo không thôi là mất điểm task response uổng :)

 

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bài này mình nghĩ tác giả bị lạc đề vì không rõ là đồng ý hay không mà đi phân tích điểm mạnh và điểm yếu. theo mình, thesis statement nên là: "I partially agree with that idea; however, there are still some drawbacks that should be put into account." 

bạn chú ý thêm về subject-verb agreement, số ít số nhiều của câu. 

First, modern equipment and hospitals with professional doctors and nurses who train in an intensive environment make it possible to have medical check-up every six months. 

Câu này theo mình hơi dài dòng, đoạn professional doctors... có thể đổi thành well-trained staff cho gọn.

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Lặp từ health, food, use, that nhiều quá c

Lặp từ health, food, use, that nhiều quá c, với lại c nên rút ngắn câu từ lại sao cho tầm 300 từ là hợp lí rồi. về idead thì phần advantages nên 2 ý là đủ rồi
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cảm ơn mọi người đã góp ý nhé. bài này tớ viết cũng lâu rồi, do lý do học tập nên tớ không có thời gian check cũng như đăng bài trên này.
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