Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

There has been a belief that reading would develop one’s imagination and language ability while watching TV is not effective in this. In my view, reading certainly brings more benefits than watching TV for the following reasons

          First and foremost, people who read book frequently can improve their language skill which is believed to be essential in modern society. In fact, it can be apparently seen that language in most books are formal and literate than spoken language shown on TV. In addition, written materials contain not only valuable lessons but also the writer’s attitude forward a problem that can boost reader’s language ability and critical thinking. Therefore, readers are more likely to successfully express themselves when they interact with others in daily basis.

          Another significant merit of reading books is the development of imagination, which, TV cannot provide its viewers. As a matter of fact, book readers have the tendency to build or create their world while reading books that eventually enhance their imaginative ability and even creativity. For example, a child reading animal books would imagine in the appearance of those animals and the surrounding in their mind while reading, which is exceedingly beneficial for their mental development. In contrast, although it is undeniable that TV offers lively and colorful images than books, people usually absorb what is presented on TV passively without reflecting it.

 

          Taking all things into consideration, it is unthinkable that reading books helps human improve their language proficiency and promote their imagination, which, TV cannot ensure. Therefore, maintaining reading habit is an indispensable part in this day and age.

Answer 1

Original writing	Suggested correction
There has been a belief that reading would develop one’s imagination and language ability while watching TV is not effective in this. In my view, reading certainly brings more benefits than watching TV for the following reasons.	There has been a belief that reading would develop one’s imagination and language ability while watching TV is not effective in this. In my view, reading certainly brings more benefits than watching TV for the following reasons.
First and foremost, people who read book frequently can improve their language skill which is believed to be essential in modern society. In fact, it can be apparently seen that language in most books are formal and literate than spoken language shown on TV. In addition, written materials contain not only valuable lessons but also the writer’s attitude forward a problem that can boost reader’s language ability and critical thinking. Therefore, readers are more likely to successfully express themselves when they interact with others in daily basis.	First and foremost, people who reading book frequently can improve their language skill which is believed to be essential in modern society. In fact, it can be apparently seen that the language in most books are formal and literate academic than the spoken language shown on TV. In addition, written materials contain not only valuable lessons but also the writers’ attitudes forward towards a the problems that can boost readers’ language ability and critical thinking. Therefore, readers are more likely to successfully express themselves when they interact with others in on a daily basis.
Another significant merit of reading books is the development of imagination, which, TV cannot provide its viewers. As a matter of fact, book readers have the tendency to build or create their world while reading books that eventually enhance their imaginative ability and even creativity. For example, a child reading animal books would imagine in the appearance of those animals and the surrounding in their mind while reading, which is exceedingly beneficial for their mental development. In contrast, although it is undeniable that TV offers lively and colorful images than books, people usually absorb what is presented on TV passively without reflecting it	Another significant merit of reading books is the development of imagination with which TV cannot provide its viewers. As a matter of fact, book readers have the tendency to build or create their world while reading books that eventually enhance their imagination and even creativity. For example, a child reading animal books would imagine in about the appearance of those animals and the surrounding in their mind while reading, which is exceedingly beneficial for their mental development. In contrast, although it is undeniable that TV offers more lively and colorful images than books, people usually absorb what is presented on TV passively without reflecting on it.
Taking all things into consideration, it is unthinkable that reading books helps human improve their language proficiency and promote their imagination, which, TV cannot ensure. Therefore, maintaining reading habit is an indispensable part in this day and age.	Taking all things into consideration, it is unthinkable justifiable that reading books helps human beings improve their language proficiency and promote their imagination which (note: commas deleted) TV cannot ensure. Therefore, maintaining reading habit is an indispensable part in this day and age.

 

Answer 2

I think you should restate your opinion in a conclusion and start with the phrase "In conlusion" to signal the examiner that you are writing a conclusion.