IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Question

TOPIC: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Thanks to the rapid growth of multinational companies, people are able to afford the same products beyond distance in the world. 

From my view, this situation may seriously  deteriorate maintaining of culture and development of economic in countries.

 

Language, customs and traditional festival are all ethos of a nation which distinguish the country from others. How would mid-autumn festival that celebrated by Vietnamese and Chinese be if people all over the world can buy lanterns and moon cakes ? These special features are that make the citizens proud of their own country and build up long-established tradition of the host country. Besides, travelers will not desire to make holidays as they only can buy the same products, enjoy same celebration or similar culture. Consequently, economy of nation would be severely damaged due to the shortage of income from tourism industry.

Another point of view need to be mentioned is the rising problem of unemployment because of many types of products imported from other countries by multinational corporations. The growth of these international corporations force local businesses to downsize as customers with preference to product having origin of multinational companies what people may think it better quality. This leads to a loss of job, the rising unemployment easily causes crime and the government have to pay a large amount of pension for jobless people.

 

Products supplied by international companies are greatly widespread that enables customers to buy them everywhere in the world. Nonetheless, this state seems to be 

 

Answer 1

Thanks to the rapid growth of THE multinational companies, people are able to afford the same products beyond distance in the world.

From my view, this situation mayS seriously deteriorate maintaining A culture and HINDER development of economic DEVELOPMENT in countries.

LanguageS, customs and traditional festivalS are all ethos of a nation,which distinguish the THIS country from others.

How would HAPPENED IN mid-autumn festival that celebrated by Vietnamese and Chinese be if BUT people all over the world can buy lanterns and moon cakes ?

These special features are that make the citizens VIETNAMESE PEOPLE proud of their own country and build up long-established tradition of the host THEIR country.

MÌNH NGHĨ TỐT HƠN CÂU 2 LIÊN KẾT VỚI CÂU 3 THAY VÌ CÂU 1 VỚI CÂU 3 LÀM NHƯ VẬY NÓ SẼ DỄ HIỂU HƠN

Besides, travelers will not desire to make holidays as they only can buy the same products, enjoy same celebration or similar culture. CÂU NÀY KHÓ HIỂU QUÁ BẠN Ạ 

Consequently, THE economy of A nation would be severely damaged due to the shortage of income from tourism industry.

Another point of view need to be mentioned THAT is the rising problem of unemployment because of many types of products ARE imported from other countries by multinational corporations.

The growth of these international corporations force local businesses to downsize CAUSE THE BANKRUPT OF LOCAL BUSINESSES as customers with preference to TEND TO BUY productS having origin of multinational companies what people may think it better quality. NẾU ĐỂ NTN CÂU DÀI QUÁ M XIN PHÉP SẮP XẾP LẠI

customers TEND TO BUY productS having origin of multinational companies, BECAUSE people BELIEVE THESE PRODUCTS HAVE better quality. AS A CONSEQUENCE, The growth of these international corporations CAUSE THE BANKRUPT OF LOCAL BUSINESSES.

This leads to a loss of job, the rising unemployment, SO easily causes crime and the government have HAS to pay a large amount of pension (TỪ NÀY LÀ LƯƠNG HƯU BẠN PHẢI TÌM TỪ TIỀN TRỢ CẤP ẤY M K NHỚ M SÀI money luôn) MONEY for jobless people.

Products supplied by international companies are greatly widespread that enables THIS MEANS THAT customers CAN buy SAME PRODUCTS everywhere in the world. Nonetheless, this state seems to be  CHƯA VIẾT XONG HẢ BẠN TẠI CHƯA THẤY TRẢ LỜI CÂU HỎI CỦA ĐỀ BÀI :)

mình cũng đang học thôi nếu m có sai sót gì các bạn cứ góp gạch đá cho mình xây nhà nhé :D :D :D

 

Comments

à chết mình chưa viêt xong nên thiếu kết luận rồi.

Thanks to the rapid growth of THE multinational companies, people are able to afford the same products beyond distance in the world.

=> mình chưa hiểu lắm tại sao phải dùng THE trong câu này

 

Besides, travelers will not desire to make holidays as they only can buy the same products, enjoy same celebration or similar culture. CÂU NÀY KHÓ HIỂU QUÁ BẠN Ạ 

=> ý mình là nếu các nuớc đều có chung những đặc trưng, thì mọi nguời k muốn đi du lịch nữa vì các nuớc quá tuơng tự nhau, k có gì mới. Liệu bạn có thể triển khai ý này giúp mình đc k, mình bí nên viết đc bấy nhiêu thôi ^^

 

 

Answer 2

Thanks to the rapid growth of multinational companies, people are able to afford the same products beyond distance in the world. (With the rapid growth of multinational companies)

From my view, ( from my point of view) this situation may seriously  deteriorate maintaining of culture and development of economic in countries. Câu này bạn viết rất khó hiểu: Nếu nghĩa của câu này là nó có ảnh hưởng xấu đển việc duy trì văn và và sự phát triển kinh tế, mình nghĩ bạn nên viết lại ntn:

-> This has detrimental effects on culture preservation and economic development of a country.

Không nên tách thành 2 đoạn ntn:

Language, customs and traditional festival (languages, customs and traditional festivals) are all ethos of a nation which distinguish the country from others. (, which distinguish this country from others) How would mid-autumn festival that celebrated by Vietnamese and Chinese be if people all over the world can buy lanterns and moon cakes ? (không nên đặt câu hỏi khi viết ietls writing, câu này bạn ngữ pháp rất lộn xộn) These special features are that make the citizens proud of their own country and build up long-established tradition of the host country. Besides, travelers will not desire to make holidays as they only can buy the same products, enjoy same celebration or similar culture. Consequently, economy of nation would be severely damaged due to the shortage of income from tourism industry.

Another point of view need to be mentioned is the rising problem of unemployment because of many types of products imported from other countries by multinational corporations. The growth of these international corporations force local businesses to downsize as customers with preference to product having origin of multinational companies what people may think it better quality. This leads to a loss of job, the rising unemployment easily causes crime and the government have to pay a large amount of pension for jobless people.

 

Products supplied by international companies are greatly widespread that enables customers to buy them everywhere in the world. Nonetheless, this state seems to be