Bài IELTS Task 2 :1. More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Question

It is often argued that there has been a significant increase in the number of people’s desire for well-known brands with outfit, car and other items. In my opinion, although there are some negative consequences of this trend, it should be considered as a positive development in the society.

As more and more people tend to purchase luxurious commodity, several related causes can be anticipated. Firstly, many youngsters do not take into consideration carefully and make impulsive purchase because they want to possess the highest status items, which sometimes can sink them into financial issues. For example, it is a common phenomenon when seeing a woman buying a dress she never wears or a man purchasing a new car on a monthly basis. Secondly, inhabitants tend to live in a consumerism society that they consider only by frittering away a plethora of money for new items can lead to happiness.

Furthermore, I strongly believe that buying prevalent brands exerts positive impacts upon people’s lives. It cannot be denied that reputable brands provide customers with high quality products and reliability, resulting in a sense of satisfaction among them. Nike, for instance, has supplied buyers with convenient sneakers for many purposes such as: playing tennis, hiking and running. Also, Iphone is one of the most famous brands worldwide by virtue of its durability and world-class security. Furthermore, more things purchased motivated people to work harder to meet their demands in life. Therefore, they will make a huge contribution to the prosperity and wealth of their nations.

In conclusion, although many people think that buying famous brands is harmful, I personally reckon that the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disadvantages.

Answer 1

Một số góp ý của mình:

- in the number of people’s desire for well-known brands with outfit => the number of+ N(số nhiều đếm được) nên mình nghĩ desire nên thêm "s" 

- It is often argued that there has been a significant increase in the number of people’s desire for well-known brands with outfit, car and other items. In my opinion, although there are some negative consequences of this trend, it should be considered as a positive development in the society. =>Ở giữa hai câu này mình nghĩ nên thêm một câu đề cập đến là "có rất nhiều lý do cho việc tăng này", kiểu như vậy

- several related causes can be anticipated => Mình nghĩ dùng "reasons" hay hơn "causes", và "given" thay cho "anticipated"

- many youngsters do not take into consideration carefully => Take sth into consideration, ở đây bạn nên nêu rõ là xem xét cái gì

- Secondly, inhabitants tend to live in a consumerism society that they consider only by frittering away a plethora of money for new items can lead to happiness. => Cần thêm ý support câu này nữa nhé

- It cannot be denied that reputable brands provide customers with high quality products and reliability, resulting in a sense of satisfaction among them. Nike, for instance, has supplied buyers with convenient sneakers for many purposes such as: playing tennis, hiking and running. => Bạn nêu ra ý là "hàng đắt tiền thì chất lượng tốt và uy tín cao", nhưng lấy ví dụ là "nike bán nhiều loại giày", mình thấy hai câu này nó k được liên quan lắm. Bạn có thể lấy vd về việc là mua hàng ở hãng nổi tiếng thì được bảo hành và nó lâu hỏng hơn chẳng hạn.

-  Also, Iphone is one of the most famous brands worldwide by virtue of its durability and world-class security => Thay "Also" bằng Besides, additionally,... Mà mình nghĩ chỉ cần một ví dụ là đủ rồi, nêu hai cái sẽ bị dài và thừa.

- Furthermore, more things purchased motivated people to work harder to meet their demands in life. Therefore, they will make a huge contribution to the prosperity and wealth of their nations. => Cần thêm ý support nhé

-although many people think that buying famous brands is harmful => Mình thấy đề bài không nêu là nhiều người nghĩ như này, nhiều người nghĩ như kia nên bạn cũng k nên viết kiểu này. Viết là mặc dù nó có nhiều drawbacks,but... là ok r.