IELTS Task 1 Table - mọi người sửa giúp em với! [closed]

Question

The table gives data about the number of students going to different types of high schools from 2000 to 2009.

It is clear that the attendance to community schools had a sharp rise over the period of 10 years, whereas the three others had a downward trend with no similarity in speed.

The nine-year period witnessed a very slight decline in the attraction of the specialist schools, from 12% to 10%, approximately 1% after 4 or 5 years. On the other hand, although the community schools attracted the same amount of students in 2000, it grew nearly five times to reach 58% in 2009, just under six times as much as the specialist schools.

The grammar schools, like the specialist schools, showed an obvious decrease in the number of students but with a faster and less gradual speed, to end at 12%, exactly a half of it in 2000. The percentage of pupils learning in the voluntary-controlled schools during the year 2000 was by far the highest (52%) and still held the top until 2009, when it fell to second with a dip of 32%

 

Answer 1

Nữa bạn post cái đề lên để dễ sửa nha. Viết vậy thì khó sửa lắm

Mình nghĩ bạn paraphrase cái đề này không đúng rồi, vì trong introduction, bạn ghi là " number of students " mà số liệu lại là %

1. It is clear that the attendance to community schools had a sharp rise over the period of 10 years, whereas the three others had a downward trend with no similarity in speed.

-> ... the attendance at community schools...

2. with no similarity in speed = at different speeds.

3. The nine-year period witnessed a very slight decline in the attraction of the specialist schools, from 12% to 10%, approximately 1% after 4 or 5 years

Khúc cuối bạn viết số liệu vậy rối quá với lại bạn viết vậy thì ng ta sẽ đặt dấu ? là % đó là của cái gì. Bạn có thể sửa lại thành:

The attraction as the proportion of students going to the specialist schools had slightly declined by 1% every five years by 2009

 

4. amount of + N không đếm được

5. Chữ it (line 6) sai

6. but with a faster and less gradual speed: mình không hiểu ý chỗ này

7. showed an obvious decrease in the number of students but with a faster and less gradual speed, to end at 12%: Verb chính chỗ này là show , không phải decrease nên theo mình thì bạn ghi : to end at 12% thì không ổn lắm

Bạn có thể sửa lại thành:

There was a decrease in the proportion of students  from 24% to 12% at the end of the period. Hoặc

The proportion of students in 2000 halved to 12% at the end of the period (theo ý bạn)

8. Pupil là từ cổ rồi, không nên dùng. Giáo viên bên mình kêu không nên dùng từ này

Hiện tại mình góp ý bao nhiêu, có thể còn nữa. Hi vọng sẽ giúp ích đc cho bạn

Comments

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