Museum and art galleries are not needed because people can see artistic works and historical objects by using computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Museum and art galleries are not needed because people can see artistic works and historical objects by using computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the age of the technological innovation and the advent of the Internet, people can expand vivid imagination at a click of mouse. Some people are of the opinion that museum and art galleries become outdated with the complete domination of computers which have shrunk the world. In my point of view, computers will never substitute for these places in modern society.

To start with, it is irrefutable that museum and art galleries assist people to broaden their horizons. Actually, one of the main purposes of getting these places is to view and acquire knowledge from a huge range of precious pictures, historical events and remnants from colonial days. Thanks to museums, young generations can be overwhelmed and astonished by the magnificence of civilization and achievements our forefathers created.

In the second place, such outdoor activities like visiting museum and art galleries can be advantageous to people’s flexibility. Clearly, there is no doubt that they will have opportunities to interact and socialize with people have the same interests, which can be the optimum way to avoid obesity and monotonous of life by staying at home with computer most of time.

However, some of advocates of this view contend that visiting those places via computer is one of the time-saving ways with the same quality of pictures and more information from Internet at a click of mouse. Their point has some merits on the surface. However, as far as I concerned, only by going there in the real world can people distinguish between factual world and virtual one. Moreover, people can realize the atmosphere of splendid museums through a hundred of years.

Put it in a nutshell, it is the high time for the government to maintain and develop such museums and art galleries to remind our descendants of time-honored convention and indomitable spirit of our ancestors. Moreover, they can be the source of inspiration for people’ creativity and contribute to release the dependent of computer of modern people.

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In my point of view --> From my point of view

Theo mình câu cuối cùng ở mở bài nên viết theo dạng bị động, đảo these (artistic) places will never be subtituted by ... Lý do cho điều này là sẽ tăng linking (places refer đến museum, art galleries, đặt làm chủ ngữ sẽ dễ dàng link tới đối tượng này ở câu phía trước).

Ý đầu tiên của body (phần to start with) không hợp lý. Dùng computers cũng có thể "broaden their horizons", "view and acquire knowledge" vân vân. Ở đây phải là 1 idea giống như body 2. Hoặc cũng có thể so sánh trực tiếp 2 đối tượng (đi trực tiếp và dùng máy tính) như là sẽ gặp đc người hướng dẫn ở bảo tàng và tìm hiểu ngay lập tức, có lợi thế về thời gian so với dùng máy tính; dùng máy tính yêu cầu phải sở hữu máy tính và kết nối Internet,...

Some of advocates of this view : view nào? Ngoài ra bỏ of

Kết bài lạc đề. Trước hết phải đưa ra quan điểm của bạn (ủng hộ cách nào). Phần thông tin maintain and develop chỉ là thông tin ngoài.
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