IELTS Task 1

Question

A glance at the chart given illustrates sports the youth enthusiastically played in terms of gender in Great Britain at the end of 90s. 

A general estimation can be exposed that boys have tendency towards strong and mental practice activities. Hence, a number of boys took part in tennis, cycle achieved a distance accounts for one half of ten respectively. A dramatic difference with the latter, football occupied a major boys threetimes as much as the amount as girls.

On the contrary, girls was suitable for flexible and enduring sports. Therefore, walking, skate boardingand swimming were typical indications of the above mentioned alternative. These numbers were actually lower than boys's favourite sports. There was a differential fluctuation approximately one out of ten in riding bike and hiking.

Answer 1

- You should include the topic of task 1, so it is easier to correct your essay.

Your introduction : Try to make it simple : The bar chart illustrates different kinds of favourite sports among teenagers/ young people.

- You miss overview sentence.

- I can see that you try to write more complex sentence but it is not effective :

A general estimation can be exposed that boys have tendency towards strong and mental practice activities

It is estimated that the majority of boys prefer ..................

. Hence, a number of boys took part in tennis, cycle achieved a distance accounts for  one half of ten 

        - ACCOUNT FOR : ONLY USED FOR PERCENTAGE. AND YOU SHOULD GIVE MORE CLEARLY DATA INSTEAD OF "ONE HALF OF TEN"                               

 respectively.

A dramatic difference with the latter CROSS OUT

occupied a major boys threetimes as much as the amount as girls THIS IS FALSE SENTENCES, ABOUT GRAMMAR. BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE THE TOPIC OF THIS TASK, SO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GIVE YOU A SUGGESTING SENTENCE

On the contrary, girls was suitable for flexible and enduring sports. Therefore, walking, skate boardingand swimming were typical indications of the above mentioned alternative. These numbers were actually lower than boys's favourite sports. There was a differential fluctuation approximately one out of ten in riding bike and hiking.

NOT CLEAR, NOT GIVE SPECIFIC DATA.iN MY OPINION, YOUR GRAMMAR IS SO BAD, YOU SHOULD MAKE A LOT OF EFFORT TO THIS TASK

Answer 2

Bạn ơi, bạn có thể kiểm tra lại cái hình đính kèm không, mình muốn góp ý cho bạn mà không thể nào xem được hình, có vẻ là hình bị lỗi

Answer 3

Hello Helenayoong,

To be honest I didn't see the picture of your writing topic so I have some comments or corrections for you (Accuracy rate is depended). It's better you should add piture clearly next time ^^!

Introduction: You better make it as simple as possible, "A glance at" seems non sense in this case, examiner may thinks you don't study the topic carefully( Just kidding:D).

Body part: 

A general estimation can be exposed It is estimated that boys have tendency towards strong and mental practice activities mental practices/ activities. Hence, a number of boys took part in tennis, cycle achieved a distance which accounts for one half of ten respectively. A There is a dramatic difference with from the latter, football occupied a major boys threetimes the majority of boys thrice  as much as the amount as girls.

On the contrary, girls was suitable for flexible and enduring sports. Therefore, walking, skate boardingand swimming were typical indications of the above mentioned alternative. These numbers were actually lower than boys's boys' favourite sports. There was a differential fluctuation approximately one out of ten in riding bike and hiking.