ielts task 2 : old building. Mọi người giúp em với tuần sau em thi :(

Question

Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.
How important is it to maintain old buildings?
Should history stand in the way of progress?
 

Old buildings always play a crucial role in a nation’s history. It is of paramount importance to maintain the tradition of ancient buildings preservation but I would argue that people should give way to adopt positive changes on these old constructions.
In my view, old constructions symbolize the cultural identity of a country. In other words, they are remarkable art masterpieces which contain many ancient patterns and structures that make this country unique. When we have a look at these works, we can have a thorough understanding about the art and the culture of the nation in the past. Hence, preserving these historical structures means people are protecting the existence of the nation culture that ancestors had built. It is apparent that the responsibility of descendants is to maintain and develop cultural values inherited from their ancestors.

However, beside preservation, some steps should be taken to modernize old buildings. When time flies, many ancient buildings can not preserve their inherent appearance . Indeed, many practice have been recorded that they are degraded in a warning level , not only resulting from the impact of nature such as temperature, rain or flood but also from humans, especially tourists. Hence, renovation is in imperative demand to furnish these old structures.

In conclusion, old building are also given a strong respect from human due to many remarkable values they bring about. However, people have to take renovation into serious consideration to make these works brighter and brighter from time to time.

Answer 1

Old buildings always play a crucial role in a nation’s history. It is of paramount importance to maintain the tradition of ancient buildings preservation but I would argue that people should give way (không chắc cụm này lắm) to adopt positive (có nên dùng từ necessary  + repair gì đó) changes on these old constructions.

In my view, old constructions symbolize the cultural identity of a country. In other words, they are remarkable art masterpieces which contain many ancient patterns and structures that make this country unique (double Relative Clause, có nhiều quá không). When we have a look at these works, we can have a thorough understanding about the art and the culture of the nation in the past (cá nhân mình thì hạn chế dùng we, câu này có thể dùng Chủ Ngữ Giả it). Hence, preserving these historical structures means people are protecting the existence of the nation culture that ancestors had built. It is apparent that the responsibility of descendants is to maintain and develop cultural values inherited from their ancestors. (2 câu cuối có vẻ chỉ cần 1, bạn xem lại outline của Đoạn 2 này)

However, beside preservation, some steps should be taken to modernize old buildings. When time flies, many ancient buildings can not (lỗi Ngữ pháp sơ đẳng) preserve their inherent appearance . Indeed, many practice have (xem lại) been recorded that they are degraded in a warning level , not only resulting (xem lại) from the impact of nature such as temperature, rain or flood but also from humans, especially tourists (bạn có vẻ thích viết mấy câu phức tạp nhưng lại không hiệu quả). Hence, renovation is in imperative demand (U/ C) to furnish these old structures.

In conclusion, old building are also given a strong respect from human due to many remarkable values they bring about. However, people have to take renovation into serious consideration to make these works brighter and brighter from time to time. (chỉ viết 1 câu, lặp lại ý bạn đã nói trên Introduction) (có thể sửa lại bằng cách nối dùng and, however)

Bạn viết tốt. Mình góp ý về ý thôi nhé.

Xanh 1 - Diễn đạt chỗ này hơi khó hiểu, tức là vẫn preservation hay là như thế nào?

Đỏ 1 - Nên nói rõ hơn, how important?

Đỏ 2 - Có trả lời nhầm câu hỏi không?

Thi gấp thì gửi mail qua [email protected] mình tư vấn qua phần Body.