Mọi người giúp mình chữa bài này với. chủ đề về health problems

Question

Question: Today many countries are facing health  problems. Why people choose to live unhealthy lives? Give some measures o solve this.

Answer:

       Health is one of the most severe issues currently. Human lifestyles could be the major contributor to health risk; if people have a change for better, however, these problems will be mitigated.

      There are various elements resulting in health issues. The fundamental reason is unhealthy diet. Children, for example, are fond of fried potato, snacks, bread or coke which are easily available in school canteens; and these  foods often contain ingredients that are high in sugar, calorie and fat. As a result, children from many countries are suffering from obesity and overweight which lead to heart diseases. In addition, sedentary activities can partly stimulate obesity and overweight. It is true that the use of computer and television is increasing in modern children who would rather choose playing computer games or watching TV than doing exercises ore taking part in sport. All of these wreck well-proportioned build of children.

      To combat these problems, it is necessary to raise awareness of human about unhealthy lives. First of all, schools and parents need to collaborate to educate children about nutrition an balanced diet. Secondly, the authorities should encourage people in playing sport or doing exercises more regularly and there should be more time for outdoor activities at school.

      In conclusion, unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyles are key factors causing health issues. This requires government intervention to combat the problem on large scale.

Answer 1

Trời đọc mở bài thì hay mà thân bài chỉ nói về phạm vi rất nhỏ là bệnh béo phì ở trẻ em. Như thế chưa đạt  task respond.

Bạn thử ngẫm lại đề và viết lại xem, câu hỏi này bao quát hơn, trong đề bài nêu rất rõ, key words: people, unhealthy,  thì tất nhiên phải có cả người lớn và trẻ em, nên  tìm ra nguyên nhân và giải pháp phải bao gồm cả 2.

Trẻ em bạn viết như thế tạm ổn.

Người lớn thì chưa có chút nào.

Đó chỉ là ý kiến của mình. Bạn tham khảo nhé.

Comments

ok. thanks bạn nhé