Many people use distance-learning programs ( study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
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Nowadays, there are lots of universities offer distance learning to students. However, some people claim that online classes can not bring the same benefits  as face-to- face ones could. In my opinion, I partly agree with this argument for the following reasons.

On the one hand, traditional schools have some advantages online courses. Students presenting at class frequently could grasp the fundamental knowledge efficiently due to having the direct instruction from teachers and participating in class discussion. It is clear that regular class attendance can enhance some necessary skills for their career path. For example, by selective listening and positive contribution at class, these skills like presentation and confidence will be improved significantly. In addition , principles of universities could put pressure on students to study hard.  Since they have to do homework, practice tests and take exams, they won’t be lazy in order to catch up with their classmates. Therefore, learners could complete their assignments and graduate on time.

On the other hand, students can acquire knowledge from  learning online as they would gain from attending college. They can quickly browse study material, access to information and e-books within the Internet connection. Especially, distance education give access to education and training for students who are unable to attend a traditional school setting due to  long distance, disability or illness. Moreover, such form of education can also provide a broader method of communication within the realm of education. Thanks to technological advancements, students can join in discussion with their instructors and classmates from diverse geographical background. That involving in global institutions via e-learning  is the opportunity for them to combine new opinions with their own, and develop a solid foundation for learning.

In summary, both conventional schools and distance learning programs have their own benefits.  However, they share a common function is to impart knowledge to learners.

 

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  • there are lots of universities offer => there are lots of universities offering
  • traditional schools have some advantages online courses. => ???
  • these skills like presentation and confidence => some essential skills
  • Moreover, such form of education => this form of
  • That involving in => So the involvement in 

​In my opinion, your essay doesn't state clearly your view about whether or not the new form "bring the same benefits of attending college or university". You just list their advantages, some of which overlap, and conclude that "they have their own benefits". This statement is not the answer to the question.

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- Ngay từ introduction, bạn nên nêu ý kiến của mình rõ ràng luôn. Partly agree là bạn agree cho ý kiến nào? 

- Bạn có 2 "On the other hand"? 

- In my opinion, I partly agree with this argument for the following reasons: Nếu đã có in my opinion rồi thì đi thẳng vào ý kiến của mình luôn nhé, ko cần thêm 1 cái "I" ở đây nữa. 

- That involving in global institutions via e-learning  is the opportunity for them to combine new opinions with their own, and develop a solid foundation for learning: That + clause is +.../ S (a noun/ noun phrase + tobe + ...)

- Không dùng các dạng viết tắt trong bài thi acedemic như thế này bạn nhé: won’t. 

- distance education give-> distance education gives

Chúc bạn ôn tập tốt và thành công. 

 

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