Writing Task 2 - Watching TV [closed]

Question

Some people think that TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

People have different view about whether children should watch TV. Although it can be argued that watching TV has negative impact on children, I believe that it is normal to under 18 years old in watching TV.

To begin with, there are three main reasons why several people argue that watching TV generates bad effect on children. Firstly, spending a number of time on screen of TV probably causes many diseases. For example, if children concentrate in TV, after couple of years, their eyes tent to suffer from declining in vision, or they are likely to cope with obesity that the key reason is lack of physical activities. Secondly, children may obtain bad result in school because they pay too much attention on TV programs that make distraction in educational missions.

On the other hand, I would agree with those who believe that watching TV brings some advantages on children. After tension of school time, one of the optimum ways that give a rest in mind is turning TV on and watching entertainment programs. This creates the period of relaxing and reduces stress which assists children in generating energy for next daily activities. In addition, TV provides a great deal of information which help children in updating everything around them. Furthermore, some TV programs are designed in order to teach children about skills in life.

In conclusion, from my point of view, I firmly hold the view that watching TV is a good idea to children in home after they completely learn at school.        

Answer 1

People have different view views (different nên phải Ns c ạ) about whether children should watch TV. Although it can be argued that watching TV has negative impact on children, I believe that it is normal to under 18 years old in watching TV. đoạn này ý kiến của t giống b cmt ở trên :)

To begin with, there are three main reasons why several people argue that watching TV generates bad effect on children. câu này phải để ở phần mở bài c ạ. phần thân bài mình chỉ đi phân tích các reason thôi Firstly, spending a number of cụm này chỉ dùng cho danh từ đếm được thôi. time ko đếm được vì thế có thể dùng a large amount of time on screen of TV probably causes many diseases. For example, if children concentrate in concentrate on sth c nhé TV, for example đặt ở giữa câu sẽ academic hơn after couple of years, their eyes tent to suffer from declining in vision, or they are likely to cope with obesity that the key reason is lack of physical activities. Secondly, children may obtain bad result in at school chứ school because they pay too much attention on TV programs that make distraction in from educational missions.

On the other hand, I would agree with those who believe that watching TV brings some advantages on children. After tension of school time, one of the optimum ways that give a rest in mind is turning TV on and watching entertainment programs. This creates the period of relaxing and reduces stress which assists children in generating energy for next daily activities. In addition, TV provides a great deal of information which help helps children in updating everything around them. Furthermore, some TV programs are designed in order to teach children about skills in life.

In conclusion, from my point of view, I firmly hold the view that watching TV is a good idea to children in home after they completely learn at school.  

trong văn ko được tùng chữ viết tắt c nhé :) với cả phần kết bài t nghĩ nên cho thêm ý là phải xem tv đúng cách á. mong nhận đc feedback của c

 

Answer 2

Đây là ý kiến riêng của mình thôi nhé :D Có gì thiếu sót cùng bàn luận sửa ha :D. Những chỗ mình đánh dấu màu tím là chỗ mình nghĩ nên sửa để hay và học thuật hơn. Nhìn chung, bạn cũng đã hiểu đề bài, cung cấp được các ý khá tốt. Tuy nhiên, trong dạng bài này, bạn nên có thêm 1 đoạn ở phần thân bài chứng minh cho opinion của mình. Cách bạn làm cũng được nhưng người đọc sẽ chưa thể thấy rõ quan điểm của bạn trong vấn đề này. Mình nghĩ bạn có thể tham khảo video này để hiểu hơn:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VckHHjp2_T8

Tất nhiên cô giáo nói chung qua nhưng bạn cũng có thể vào trang ielts của thầy simon để đọc thêm nhiều bài band 9 của thầy :D Chúc bạn học tốt :)

People have different view about whether children should watch TV. Although it can be argued that watching TV has negative impact on children, I believe that it is normal to under 18 years old in watching TV. (mình nghĩ nên viết là : I believe that it also contains some advantages để bám sát đề bài)

To begin with, there are three main reasons why several people argue that watching TV generates bad effect on children. (mình sẽ giải thích ở cuối :D ) Firstly, spending a number of time on screen of TV (TV screen) probably (is one of the factors) causes many diseases. For example, if children concentrate in (watch TV too frequently) TV, after couple of years, their eyes tent to suffer from declining in vision, or they are likely to cope with obesity that the key reason is lack of physical activities (Good!!!!). Secondly, children may obtain bad result in school because they pay too much attention on TV programs that make distraction in educational missions. 

On the other hand, I would agree with those who believe that watching TV brings some advantages on children. After tension of school time, one of the optimum ways that give a rest in mind is turning TV on and watching entertainment programs. This creates the period of relaxing and reduces stress which assists children in generating energy for next daily activities. In addition, TV provides a great deal of information which help children in updating everything around them. Furthermore, some TV programs are designed in order to teach children about skills in life.

In conclusion, from my point of view, I firmly hold the view that watching TV is a good idea to for children in at home after they completely learn at school. 

 

* Phần mình gạch ở trên:

Thường thì mình thấy khi viết essay, người viết sẽ cho quan điểm + lý do của mình lên đề bài.

VD: People have different view about whether children should watch TV. Although it can be argued that watching TV has negative impact on children, I believe that it also contains some advantages for 3 reasons: entertaining, reducing stress and providing informative imformation.