IELTS task 2 - Education

Question

Please read and correct your answer!!!

Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

   Being an usefull person for life, children should be introducted by their parents or be educated in their school. While I accept that both their parents and their school have benefits and drawbacks, I would argue that it is better to learn with their parents.

    Learning from their parents ia disadvantageous to some extend. The main shortcoming is that most of their time is not spent on their children. They are spent at work each day. As a result, the training their children can be restricted. In addition, learning place at home is not so good as school. In school, children can see and be in touch with classmates of their own that are better reflective of their future society. For instance, children can learn what is good ang eliminate what is bat from experience of their friends.

     On the other hand, It seem to me that parents are effective in training their children because of some undeniable advantages. Firstly, parents have a better knowelge of their children. They know their children have strengths and weaknesses so that they can easily direct their children. As a result, they can become helpfull for their society. Secondly, parents are emotionally and physically close to the children and can dedicate most of their time on training their children because the people think no one would care about children of others more than them.

   In condition, I believe that there are many advantages for children to be an effective and positive part of their society through the learning from their parents, although this decision has some notable disadvantages.

 

Answer 1

Hi Thanh,

In general, your essay is quite good! However, there are still some mistakes that you need to pay more attention. You should check your spelling as well as grammar carefully.

 

Being an usefull person for life, children should (can/may/might) be introducted by their parents or be educated in their school. While I accept that both their parents and their school have benefits and drawbacks (this idea, i think, not clear enough. you can write" While I accept that both their parents and their school play an important role in  children' development , I would argue that it is better for them to learn with their parents.

    Learning from their parents ia (is)disadvantageous to some extend. The main shortcoming is that most of their time is not spent on their children. They are spent at work each day. As a result, the training their children can be restricted. In addition, learning place at home is not so good as learning at school. In school, children can see and be in touch with classmates of their own that are better reflective of their future society. For instance, children can learn what is good ang eliminate what is bat from experience of their friends.

     On the other hand, It seems to me that parents are more effective in training their children because of some undeniable advantages. Firstly, parents have a better knowelge of their children. They know their children have strengths and weaknesses so that they can easily direct their children. As a result, they can become helpfull for their society. Secondly, parents are emotionally and physically close to the children and can dedicate most of their time on training their children because the people think no one would care about children of others more than them.

   In condition, (conclusion) I believe that there are many advantages for children to be an effective and positive part of their society through the learning from their parents, although this decision has some notable disadvantages.

Good luck!

Nguyen Tinh

Comments

Thank Nguyen Tinh so much!!