Đề bài: Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? [closed]

Question

These days, thanks to globalization, customers have chances to choose between foreign foods and indigenous products. While some people believe that there are few drawbacks of exclusively consuming local foods, I have conviction that it is more advantageous in both environmental and economic contexts to prefer using products made by local people. This essay is going to illuminate the environmental and economic advantages respectively. 

 

It is understandable why consuming local foods is considered to be more environmentally friendly. To be more specific, international foods are usually transported by airplanes and there are hundreds of flights a day to exchange products among nations and continents. Consequently, millions of tons of carbon emissions are released into the atmosphere, worsening the terrible air pollution. Therefore, by restraining using shipped foods, people can save a monumental amount of carbon footprint and somehow alleviate the effects of air pollution. Hence prioritizing indigenous products is more beneficial environmentally due to its inconsiderable distance. 

 

At the same time, an economic progression could also be seen if local foods attract more attention from buyers. For example, if customers purchase more organic vegetables from local farmers, the products’ makers will have to expand their cultivating areas and upgrade their technology to produce more food. The appliance of technology in agriculture to improve productivity is a driving element of economic advancement. Therefore, it is important to encourage consumers from consuming more local foods to promote the economy.

 

In conclusion, purchasing indigenous foods has numerous benefits including reducing the carbon footprint emitted into the atmosphere and accelerating economic growth. 

 

Answer 1

 Uhm, theo mình nghĩ thì chỗ này" encourage consumers from consuming" nên đổi thành "encourage consumers to conconsume" thì đúng hơn nhé

Với lại, ở đoạn đầu, line 2, bạn nên sử dụng từ "a few" thì thích hợp từ "few" bạn nhé

Ở phần conclusion, mình nghĩ bạn nên nhấn mạnh lại ý của bản thân là buying local foods is more advantageous, tại vì đề bài hỏi là "Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?" nên mình nghĩ bạn cần phải thêm ý xác nhận lại vào phần conclusion

Mình góp ý với bạn vài điểm vậy nhé