ielts online test- Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Question

It is often believed that the appearance is not as trivial as the quality of work whereas the others think labor outperforms the value of dress-code. This essay will try to analysis both sides of the arguement as well as provide my opinion.

On the one hand, dressing fully makes people to become more professional at workplace. This is because they may put on suitable attire for a particular condition in order to portray the concepts or purposes of those events, occasions. Research has shown that the colors dressed by a marketer may influence on both their and their customers’ psychology; for example, red is believed to be fortunate than black which bring an excitement and positive thinking for them. As a result, this may better company’s profit which helps employees get a higher salary. In such cases, others can have the understanding of the company's politeness, regulations, professionalism.

On the other hand, there are other factors influencing on the high quality of work more than appearance.Employees shold focus on what they do necessarily so as to enhance their academic knowledge as well as soft skills. Imagine that all people just care about their style, their fashion in work environment without bearing any responsibilities for work. As a result, the productivity may be fallen out which pose a threat to the company’s reputation.

All in all, dressing approaches is just a neligible factor make employees easier to work which reflect a part of their personality. Besides, they should better their experiences every day in order to be more successful.

Answer 1

It is often believed that the appearance is not as trivial as the quality of work whereas the others think labor outperforms the value of dress-code. This essay will (try to)->BỎ analysis->ANALYSE (ANALYSIS LÀ NOUN)  both sides of the arguement as well as provide my opinion. -> MÌNH NGHĨ NGAY TỪ PHẦN MỞ BÀI BẠN NÊN NÊU QUAN ĐIỂM LÊN RỒI.

On the one hand, dressing FORMALLY makes people( to)-> BỎ ( MAKE SB DO) become more professional at workplace. This is because they may put on suitable attire for a particular condition in order to portray the concepts or purposes of those events, occasions. Research has shown that the colors dressed by a marketer may influence on both their and their customers’ psychology; for example, red is believed to be fortunate than black which bring an excitement and positive thinking for them. As a result, this may better-> PROMOTE company’s profit which helps employees get a higher salary. In such cases, others can have the understanding of the company's politeness, regulations, professionalism.


On the other hand, there are other factors FOCUSING on the high quality of work more than appearance. Employees shold-> SHOULD focus on what they do necessarily so as to enhance their academic knowledge as well as soft skills. Imagine that all people just care about their style, their fashion in work environment without bearing any responsibilities for work. As a result, the productivity may be fallen( out) which pose-> POSES a threat to the company’s reputation.

All in all, dressing approach is just a neligible factor make->MAKING employees easier to work which reflect-> REFLECTS a part of their personality. Besides, they should (better) their experiences every day in order to be more successful.

*phần in hoa là mình sửa đó. Hơi khó đọc xíu. Đó chỉ là góp ý của riêng mình thôi. Bạn có thể tham khảo một essay dress code tương tự của simon nha: https://www.ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/05/ielts-writing-task-2-dress-code-essay.html

Answer 2

- dressing fully makes people to become more professional at workplace: Có lẻ nên dùng thoroughly thay cho fully

- those events, occasions => nên thay thành either events or occacions

- Research has => researches have

- mình nghĩ coherence của bạn chưa ổn lắm, có lẽ nghiên cứu thêm transtional word sẽ giúp triển khai ý tốt hơn, cấu trúc structure cũng nên nghiên cứu thêm để clear hơn về mặt response