IELTS writing task 1_the reasons for study of students according to different age groups

Question

The first bar chart illustrates the primary causes for study according to the different age groups of students. The second bar chart shows the percentage of employer support that each group of students is received from the employers.

It is clear that most of younger students study to build good careers while studying for interest is the main reason for older students. In addition, the proportion of students in group under 26 years old receiving the employer support is the highest and this figure drops to the lowest point in the aged 30-39 group of students.

According to the first bar chart, around 80% of students who are under 26 years old study to build their careers in comparison with only around 10% of students in this group study for interest purposes. The gap between them becomes more narrow when they get older. In particularly, the percentage of students at the age of 40-49 study either because of their career building or because of their interest is equal, at about nearly 40%. However, there is approximately 70% of students who are 49 years old and older studying for interest while this figure for students studying to make good careers in this group is too much lower, at around 20%.

The second bar chart shows that the majority of employer support is given to the younger students. The employer support is highest for students under 26 years old, at about 65%. There is a singnificant decrease in this figure when students get older to 30-39 year-olds, a drop of 30%. Nevertheless, when students reach to over 49 years old, the proportion of employer support for those increases by 10%.

Answer 1

_ Bạn bị lặp từ students, employer, support, study quá nhiều, bạn nên tìm những synonyms để thay thế. 

_ Đây là những nhận xét dựa trên kiến thức của mình, có thể vẫn còn lỗi sai hay mình chưa chính xác lắm, mong bạn thông cảm