The bar chart below shows the highest qualification attained by sex for the working age population in wales in 2001/2002

Question

The bar chart below illutrates the highest qualification gained by male and female for the working age population in Wales in 2001/2002.

As we can see from the data that the GCA A level or equaivalent and GCSE grade A* - C or equaivalent were attained most by female and male respectively. By contrast, there was a similarity in the percentage of qualifications achieved by both sexes in higher and degree or equaivalent qualification groups. Namely, for the higher education qualification, the ratio were about 8 % for men and 9 % for female; for the degree or equaivalent qualifications, there were approximately 13 % by male and 11 % by female.

Substantially, for the GCE A level or equaivalent. the proportion of qualification attainment by male was double by female. Specifically, the percentage of male was nearly 30 % while the female was only around 15 %. However, GCSE showed a reverse pattern, about 28 % and 18 % respectively of male and female.
Overall, men were more successful in attaining the highest qualification than women.

Answer 1

Mình thấy namely chỉ hay dùng giữa câu thôi. Nếu là mình thì sẽ thay thành Specifically nha.

Từ ratio không đúng lắm vì nó chỉ tỉ lệ giữa 2 số (dạng như phân số í). Nên thay thành proportion/rate/percentage

Equivalent đoạn viết sai chính tả

for the degree or equaivalent qualifications, there were the proportions were approximately 13 % by male and 11 % by female.

the proportion of qualification attainment by male was doubleD by female.

Phần overall nên thêm 1-2 câu nữa nha chứ để mỗi 1 câu thì ngắn quá.

Lần sau bạn chụp cả chart nữa nha, chấm mỗi từ vựng ngữ pháp thì khó lắm.

Answer 2

This bar chart compares the highest qualification attained by sex in six categories

for the working age population in Wales in 2001/2002. Units are measured in percentages.

Overall, what stands out from the chart is that males attain more qualifications than females. The qualification men take the most concern is GSC A level compared to GCSE grade A*-C in women while both males and females are least focused on higher education qualification.

We can see that degree, higher education are popular with both groups although there are slightly fewer women than men in terms of degree ( over 10% and nearly 15% respectively) and a little more women and  than men in high education qualification.

Obviously, GSC and GCSA  appeal more to one of the groups. GSC A level are attained by males was half as many as by females. There are under 20% males get GSCE grade in comparison with practically 30% for women.