The bar chart illustrates how the proportion of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales changed between 1918 and 2011 from 1998 to 2011.
Overall, it is crystal clear apparent that there was an upward trend in the percentage of households living in their owned houses in the period, ;Meanwhile meanwhile, that of those living in rented accommodation plummeted overtime. It is also worth noticing that these two figures were equal in 1971.
At first glance, over one-fifth of households people in England and Wales lived in their own accommodations in 1918, which was over more than three times lower than that lived in rented accommodation.(Thường người ta so sánh cao hơn ba lần chứ ít ai so sánh kiểu này bạn ơi) There was an significant drop of about 19% in the proportion of households in rented accommodation from 1918 to 1961. This contradicted to the figure for households in owned home, which as it rose remarkably by nearly 20% between 1918 and 1961.
These two figures were equal by percentage in 1971, at which was 50% each. In the last 40-year period, living in owned accommodation was the leading choice. There was a slight growth of 9% in the proportion of households in owned accommodation from 1981 to 2001,which was followed by a slight drop of 5% in 2011. The figure for households in rented accommodation, which was a half as much as the other its counterpart, was comprised 30% of the total.
Nhìn chung bạn viết tốt nhưng chưa paraphrase nhiều, những cụm như living in owned accomodation hay households lặp nhiều. Cấu trúc câu bạn dùng chưa đa dạng, nhưng điểm sáng là bạn dùng mệnh đề quan hệ khá ổn. Mình nghĩ bài này có thể được 6~ nếu bạn chuẩn hơn về grammar và phần mô tả dữ liệu đa dạng + sử dụng từ và cấu trúc câu linh hoạt hơn sẽ lên 7+. Chúc bạn viết ngày càng tốt hơn nhé!