ielts task 1 cho e xin band điểm và ý kiến ạ

Question

The table compares the proportion of people  riding bicycle in terms of 6 age groups in one town in 2011.

Overall, it is clear that the figures for females who rode bicycle were more than male in all age groups. Besides, both 40-59 years old male and female experienced the lowest rate of people riding bike.

Firstly, all children from 0-9 years old accounted for the highest data in the table, which are 51.3 for females and 50.3 for males. However, from group of 10-17 years old, there was a gap between males and females. The proportion of bicycle riding by females was twice as much as male which was 42.2 and 24.6 respectively.

Secondly, the percentage of women in group of 40-59 was half lower than 10-17 girls and also the lowest in terms of females, which was 12.3. Similarly, the rate of 40-59 males was at the bottom, only 8.0. Furthermore the figures for males from over 60 were one third of females which were 13.2 and 18.5 repesctively.

bài này tầm band bao nhiu ạ ? thanks n advance

Answer 1

The table compares the proportion of people riding bicycles in terms of => in 5 age groups and by gender in one town in 2011.

(Table có mention tới female/male thì phải paraphrase )

Overall, it is clear that the figures for females who rode bicycle (cycle) were more (higher) than those of male in all age groups. Besides, both 40-59 years old male and female (middle-aged people) experienced the lowest rate of people riding bike. => câu này hơi vụng về During the period shown, the lowest proportion of people using bicycles belonged to the middle-aged

Firstly, all children from 0-9 years old accounted for the highest data in the table (largest percentage of cyclists), which are (were) 51.3 for females (girls) and 50.3 for males (boys). However, from group of 10-17 years old, there was a gap between males and females. (câu này ko làm rõ được số liệu) The proportion of bicycle riding by females was twice as much as male which was 42.2 and 24.6 respectively. (câu này vụng về + ko làm rõ số tuổi )

Secondly, the percentage of women in group of 40-59 was half lower than 10-17 girls (so sánh ko có thứ tự) and also the lowest in terms of females,???  which was 12.3. Similarly, the rate of 40-59 males was at the bottom ???, at only 8.0. Furthermore the figures for males from over 60 were one third of females which were 13.2 and 18.5 repesctively.???

*Thường ít ai dùng firstly, secondly cho task 1. => In detail, it can be seen from the table, to be specific,…

Band <5

Answer 2

Task 1 ít dùng firstly hay secondly ạ
thay vì lặp lại y chang bảng thì có thể paraphrase 1 số cái như là 40-59 years old thì thành middle-aged people
Tầm band 5 trở xuống ạ