bài ielts cambridge 15 test 2 :Topic : the graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

Question

The chart demonstrates the figure of foreigners who visited Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 .

 

Overall, there were many changes , especially, the amount of visitors staying on cruise ship from 2010 to 2017 was significantly increased :0,5 millions to 2 millions .Additionally, the total figure of both types that visitors chose to stayed highly rose and reached 3,5 millions in2017

 

In 2010, there was only 0.25 millions of tourists visited and stayed on cruise ship but this number rose gradually to 0,5 millions in 2011.Between 2011 and 2012 , this figure decreased back to the start :0,25 millions .However, from 2012 to 2017 ,visitors in Caribbean island significantly rose and reached at 2 millions foreigners in year 2017 

 

Move on to the number of visitors staying on island , in 2010 , this amount accounted for 0.75 millions and there was no fluctuation from 2010 to 2011 . Between 2011 and 2013 , the figures of foreigners who stayed on island were dramatically increased and reached at 1,5 millions .However, this pace was not erratic because in the period of 2013 to 2015, the amount of visitors still unchanged and as I can see , this figure was not had a signal of a growth . In the year 2016 , the number of foreigners were slightly declined about 0.25 millions than 2015 : 1,5 millions . The amount of visitors who stayed on Caribbean island were turnarounds and grew to 1,5 millions tourist again

 

em học lâu rồi nhưng không rõ cách viết e muốn biết lỗi sai của em và band score cho bài này ạ

Answer 1

The chart line graph demonstrates the figure number of foreigners who visited visiting Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 over the 8-year period from 2010 (viết thế này cho hay nha). Overall, there were many changes , especially, the amount of visitors staying on cruise ship from 2010 to 2017 was significantly increased :0,5 millions to 2 millions .Additionally, the total figure of both types that visitors chose to stayed (sai ngữ pháp, phải là to stay, với thêm là không rõ stay ở đâu on cruise ships hay island???) highly rose and reached 3,5 millions in 2017. 

=> Introduction với overview nên viết thành 1 đoạn. Đoạn overview không bao giờ đưa số liệu vào mà chỉ đề cập những điểm nổi bật nhất. Nói chung ở trên đoạn overview của bạn không tốt. Bạn cũng nên để ý dấu chấm, phẩy, với khoảng trống cho hợp lý. Đi thi máy kiểu này là toang!

Có thể viết lại như sau: The line graph demonstrates the number of foreigners visiting Caribbean island over the 8-year period from 2010. Overall, the total number of tourists visiting the Caribbean island always increased during the whole period. It is also noticeable that the figure for visitors staying on the island was higher than that for those staying on cruise ships during most of the period.

=> Về đoạn body, bạn cần đưa data của tổng số khách từ overview xuống 1 đoạn. Bạn có thể chia thành 1 đoạn cho tổng số khách, 1 đoạn so sánh khách của 2 loại hình chọn ở trên tàu hay ở trên đảo. Cần lắm những câu có yếu tố so sánh! Dưới đây, mình chỉ sửa lỗi ngữ pháp, chính tả cho bạn.

In 2010, there was only 0.25 millions (không có s bạn nhé) of tourists visited and stayed on cruise ships, but however, this number rose gradually to 0,5 millions in 2011. Between 2011 and In 2012 , this figure decreased back to the starting figure of :0,25 millions. However, from 2012 to 2017 , The number of visitors choosing to stay on cruise ships in Caribbean island significantly rose significantly in the next 5 years before reaching the peak of roughly and reached at 2 millions visitors foreigners in the year 2017. 

 

Move on to Regarding the number of visitors staying on the island, in 2010, this amount accounted for (cấu trúc này dùng cho phần trăm, thường dùng trong pie chart) figure was about 0.75 millions and there was no fluctuation from 2010 to 2011. Between 2011 and 2013 , tThe figures of foreigners who stayed on the island were dramatically increased dramatically and reached at the highest point of 1,5 millions, . However, this pace was not erratic because in the period of 2013 to 2015, the amount of visitors still before staying unchanged until 2015.and as I can see , this figure was not had a signal of a growth . In the year 2016 , the number of foreigners were slightly declined by about 0.25 millions than in comparison with 2015 : 1,5 millions . The amount of visitors who stayed on Caribbean island were turned arounds and grew to 1,5 millions tourist again in 2017.

 

=> Nhìn chung bài này 4-5 bạn nhé!